Giving All You've Got - Issey's Road Series Part 3
by Burntsugrr
Summary: The tour has ended and everyone is settling in to their so called normal lives. Darren and Issey begin to find what it takes to live together, work together, fight disease and become parents, and they're giving it all they've got. You'll be lost if you don't read the first two. Issey has her own tumblr called IsseysRoad where she sometimes posts things not discussed here.
1. Chapter 1

"Jim are you insane?" Issey was on the couch in her apartment, an ice pack over her chest to ease the pain from her exercises. She rolled her eyes at the speakerphone and wished they were on facetime so he could see the shape she was in.

"Is, I know it's not the best time for you, but this guy is calling a in favor on me, he's done tons of last minute string pulling for me in the past, I can't let him down. Besides, we're not asking you to train the kid, just sit down and listen to him."

"They can send me a DVD or something. I'm in no mood to go smile through some executive's kids delusional American Idol type audition."

"It has to be in person, it has to be Vegas and it has to be in two days. Issey, I'm asking you, do this. For me?"

She sighed. "Jim you know I love you but I don't think you understand, I just had a drain taken out of my body. I'm icing myself down after holding a ruler in the air for 5 seconds at a time. My heartburn is so bad I feel like a dragon that could roast marshmallows with its breath and sleep, my dear old friend, has abandoned me almost entirely. Also I appear to have sprouted a belly almost overnight."

Her manager's frustration was palpable through the phone. He was anxious and desperate and didn't know what to do. He HAD to get her to take this assignment.

"Look its one night, in and out. I'll get your suite at the Red Rock, have the kid come up there, do his two songs and then get the hell out of your life. Spend the night in the suite, I'll even splurge for whatever spa pampering you want, then you can hop a flight the next day to see your new house. You haven't even seen it. Go check on it."

"You aren't going to let me rest until I do this are you?"

"Not really, no. I'm sorry Issey, you know I wouldn't ask you to work right now if it wasn't crucial."

"Fine, but I really do want the 180 suite and a pedicure."

"Done. I'll email you your plane ticket. Thank you Is, you'll never know how happy I am you're going to go."

He disconnected and her mother came into the room with a fresh ice pack. "You're going to work?"

"Just for one night. It's not even really work, it's just listening."

"Might be good for you, change of scenery, I'm sick of seeing you mope over missing that boyfriend of yours."

"mmm."

In bed that night she talked to Darren. They tried to connect every night before she slept, or attempted to sleep. She told him about working in Vegas.

"I wish I could be there. I love doing these solo shows because the fans are incredible but I miss you like crazy and I'm dog tired."

"It's not too much longer. Day after tomorrow I go to Vegas, after that I'll go to LA and see our place, you can fly home to LA instead of Boston if you want and I'll meet you there."

"Where will you stay in LA?"

"Chris said I can stay with him. He's never there now anyway; he's working on his movie around the clock."

"How're you feeling?"

"Gross. Completely disgusting. When they took the bandages off I thought I'd throw up. Its bad Babe, really, really horrible looking. I know it's necessary and life-saving and all of that but there are things you just don't want to know."

"There's not. If you have to go through it I want to know."

"I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say I'm getting through it. To be honest I'm kind of glad Jim pressured me into taking this job, it's a chance to get out of my own way and get back to what I do."

"Well don't overdo it. I'm jealous that you're going to be in the place we met without me. What did Jim tell you about this kid? Do I have to be worried?"

"What that he's some crazed killer or something?"

"That he's some handsome prince that's going to use the magic of that balcony to steal you away from me."

"The only magic thing about that balcony was you, and besides, no one would want to steal me now. Hang on; I'm going to send you a picture of my tummy."

"Whoa! That popped up quick! I mean, it's not like its really big, not like you look super pregnant but still it's noticeable."

"I swear I went to sleep looking fairly flat, everywhere, and woke up with this belly. It's like my belly is pushing out to make up for my boobs being gone."

Darren got a little quiet, "Babe, you sound sad. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Oh, I just have my moments, I'm really fine. Did you look at the flagstone I want for the upstairs fireplace?"

"You're deflecting but yes, I saw it, I really love it but are you sure it won't make the room too dark?"

"It's under a skylight and next to a floor to ceiling window, I don't think dark will be a problem."

"During the day, what about at night?"

"There are good light fixtures hanging down the entire room. I'm not worried about light. Do you want me to wait to have it put in until you get to LA and see for yourself?"

"No, you've got the whole room built around it, I'm sure you're right."

They went on like this until her head was bobbing with sleep and they said their I love you's and hung up.

The ticket Jim sent her got her into Vegas around 9:30pm. She was less than pleased about this, her plan had been to see this guy in the afternoon and spend the rest of the day on the balcony relaxing and thinking about those first nights with Darren. He'd be home in two more days and she felt like she hadn't been in his arms for months instead of weeks.

She arrived at the hotel and was met by the night manager, a tall, slim red headed woman who looked like a former model. "Ms. Mooney, right on time. Your room is ready; your young man is waiting on the balcony. I'll have Albert take you up."

He was here already. She had hoped at this point that she'd see him tomorrow. She was looking forward to taking a shower and calling Darren from the balcony and reminiscing. It wasn't long ago that they met here, but it felt like a lifetime.

Albert was uncharacteristically quiet on the ride to the suite. He'd always been the chattiest porter they had and Issey normally found him charming. She thought perhaps the word of her surgery had reached the staff and he didn't know what to say, or maybe she just looked like shit. She figured it was probably the latter.

When they reached the suite Albert asked her to wait while he brought in her bag and made certain everything was in order. He'd never done that before but Issey didn't really question it. If this kid she was here to see was anything like she imagined he probably wanted to make certain he hadn't trashed the room or gotten drunk from the balcony bar.

When he came out of the room he held the door for her and smiled fondly. "Have a wonderful stay Ms. Mooney."

She reached out to shake his hand and pass him his tip, as she always did for him. Albert was old school and did not just accept tips; they had to be snuck to him. Money was too crass a thing to flaunt in the open. He shook his head, took her shoulders and kissed her cheek. "Not this time, Ms. Mooney. This time it is my pleasure."

He definitely knows about the surgery and probably the pregnancy as well, she thought. The lights were low on the balcony, and the slider was closed. She ducked into the bathroom and called Darren, getting his voice mail.

"I wish I hadn't done this. I don't want to be here with anyone but you. My heart's going to break when I go out on that balcony and it isn't you waiting for me." She felt silly but left the message as it was and disconnected to get to work already.

It was darker than she expected out there but since the last time she'd been there small twinkling fairy lights had been strung along the top of the plexiglass wall and over the entire balcony like a sky full of stars. As her eyes adjusted to the dark she saw a figure at the piano, back to her. She had to blink a few times because from behind he looked like Darren.

When she'd stepped out he hadn't turned around, just continued playing a tune she didn't recognize.

The music stopped and he turned to face her.

She had been exhausted and sore but those things melted away in an instant.

"Darren!" she screamed it, unable to stop herself and ran the few feet to him.

He nearly knocked over the bench jumping up to catch her and wrap around her, trying to be careful of anywhere she might still be in pain. "Surprised?" he asked between kisses.

"Completely. Oh my god I can't believe it. What are you doing home now?"

"Couldn't wait…see you…hold you…" syntax was lost, not important now that he could touch her. He moved them to the day bed.

"I can't believe you're here. I thought the kid I'm supposed to listen to was up here now, I'm so glad I don't have to see him tonight."

"You're looking at him."

"Wait, it was you? But Jim..."

"Helped me get you here, for awhile he didn't think he'd get you to say yes."

"Sneaky."

"You'll get used to it." He put his hand on the little bump his kids were making under her skin. "It's hard. That's so strange, I'm used to you being all soft everywhere."

They kissed some and cuddled under the makeshift stars. She felt as if the fear and apprehension she'd held since before the surgery were drifting away from them, leaving them alone at last to just get to be in love, no other's between them, no terrifying surgery ahead of them, just their little family, together. When Issey looked up she saw the lights directly above them made a heart constellation. She laughed a little to herself thinking the hotel was missing the mark with trying to sell the suite as a place for two when it was clearly meant for a large group. The longer she looked though the more she realized, this was not a new addition to the balcony by the hotel, _this_ was specifically for them.

Darren had hidden messages all through their personal sky, things only meaningful to them.

"How did you do this? I've never seen anything like it!"

"I wanted to give you the stars" he nuzzled into her neck sending a tingle down her spine, "this is the closest I could get tonight."

"It's perfect. We have to take pictures of it."

"Later, right now I have a song I want you to hear." He got up and got his guitar, perching on a deck chair by the pool.

He began to play but not sing, a few seconds in he broke a string and swore, his pick flying out of his fingers and into the pool.

"Shit! That was my signed pick, do you see it?" He busied himself with the broken string while she walked to the edge of the pool to look.

"I don't think...I…I…, Darren!"

He was on a knee beside her, and at the bottom of the pool flickering candles (apparently battery operated) spelled out the words 'MARRY ME?'.

He took her trembling hand and looked up at her with wide eyes, "I had a whole speech worked out but I can't remember a word of it right now. You take my breath away. I had a song to sing to you but I don't think I could get it out around the lump in my throat." Tears filled his eyes as he held out a tiny box, "All I can do is tell you that I will love you for eternity, and ask you to agree to marry me and let me spend the rest if our lives trying to make you as happy as you make me."


	2. Chapter 2

Darren held the dark blue velvet box in his open palm but Issey couldn't look away from his eyes. "Stand up." She half whispered half choked, "Please, stand up."

He did, his face falling, this wasn't how it was supposed to go.

She took a breath and then wrapped her hands around his, avoiding contact with the box. "I can't start our lives together with you on your knees. We're equals, partners, in this together. You don't have to try; you already make me happier than I ever knew I could be. I don't need a speech, I don't need a song, I only need you."

They were both in tears as they fell into each others arms, holding on tight. "You scared me there for a minute, I thought you were going to turn me down."

"And throw away the best thing that's ever happened to me for a second time? Even I'm not that stupid."

"Did I mention I love you?" He backed up, smiling at her, thumbing her tears from her cheeks.

"You did, but I didn't. I love you, with everything I am. There isn't a single thing I wouldn't do for you, or our family."

"Well in that case I think I'd better put a ring on it." He opened the box; it opened at the center, pulling out to either side where "Harry Winston" was stamped in Gold on white satin. In the center was a solitaire, emerald cut diamond set in platinum. It was simple and stunning.

"I talked to your sister about the cut, she was sure you'd want emerald. I told her you hate emeralds but she insisted you loved the cut, just hated the color. I wanted to get it with diamonds around the band and a bigger stone but she said no, she said you'd hate that. I guess I kind of knew you would but I wanted it to be spectacular, you deserve something really special." Words were rushing out faster than he could control them.

She let him put it on her finger as he babbled then placed a hand on either side of his face. "I already have something more special than any diamond." She kissed him, he kissed back. Soft, delicate, the sort of kiss that has no real need behind it because you already have all you could dream of.

"Be honest, do you like it? If you don't we can get another one. I know you're about to tell me it doesn't matter, you love it because I picked it and all that romantic shit, but I really want you to love it."

She laughed and looked down at her hand with fondness. "Do you know how Sophia knew what cut I wanted?"

He shrugged, "She knows your style?"

"Growing up I wasn't one of those girls that planned her wedding. When Sophie was walking around with towels on her head and Gran's plastic flowers clutched in her hand pretending to walk down the aisle I was listening to music and rolling my eyes at her. I had no romantic notions of a white gown or a huge cake with all my friends in ugly pink dresses oohing and ahhhing. The one thing I did have was a picture, ripped from a magazine hanging on my wall, a picture of this exact ring. I didn't think about the man that would give it to me, I'd just buy it myself if I had the money, but I wanted this ring. I never had any idea that as beautiful and perfect as it is it would be the least amazing thing I'd get the day it showed up on my finger."

The rest of the night, and into the morning they talked about his time in London, how the fans had given him the energy he needed to perform every night, even when he thought he had nothing more to give. They talked about what they wanted their home to be, how they wanted their children to grow up, and how much their families, both related and not, meant to them.

"Chris has been distant, toward the end of the tour, not just with me, with everyone. Have you talked to him much?" Darren asked.

"He texts me, mostly in the middle of the night, to see how I'm feeling, if I need anything, but otherwise I haven't talked to him. He's just so busy with the book and the movie I didn't think anything of it. You think he's okay?"

"I don't know, but if you still want to stay with him while we're in LA I don't have a problem with it. It might give you a good excuse to check up on him."

"You're a good man, Charlie Brown."

"No falling in love this time though, okay?"

"Deal."

This time Darren's kisses had some heat behind them, there was something he wanted that he'd been deprived of for too long and the time had come. His body covered hers, conveying the urgency of his intent, his fingers gliding her skirt up her thighs. They moved together, bodies responding to each other in a natural flow until he touched a button on her blouse.

"Wait." She caught his hand, "Please just leave it." It came out desperate, dripping with fear.

He shook his head slowly, the moonlight and makeshift stars shining in his eyes, "Baby, it doesn't matter, I love all of you, please don't hide from me."

"I'm not, I won't, tomorrow, I promise. I don't want to remember the night we got engaged as the night you saw the scars."

"I won't push you, but what better night? I'm marrying all of you, scars, dark secrets, and beautiful laugh, all of it. You're getting all of me, the guy who loves you and the guy who lied to you, the man who'd die for you and the man whose jealousy nearly consumed him. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, all of it is for each other now, but if you really want to wait for me to see, we'll wait."

Her lower lip quivered and he worried she might cry but she unbuttoned her blouse and started to unwrap the bandages across her chest. Her hands were shaking when he moved them away and gently peeled the layers of gauze from her skin.

He kept his eyes locked to hers as he got down to the final layer, "Does it hurt when you take it off all the way?"

She shook her head, it didn't, not anymore. Issey looked away, her gaze falling over the Las Vegas strip in the distance.

"Don't look away. There's nothing to be ashamed of. These are battle scars and you came out the winner." He set the gauze aside; it came up clean, not sticking to her skin with blood or pus like it had the week before. She was grateful for that at least.

He took a deep breath before speaking. He wanted to tell her it wasn't that bad, but it was, she knew it was and to minimize it would trivialize what she'd been through, what she'd lost. Instead he dropped his head and kissed the clean space of skin between where her breasts had been, the one spot that didn't look sore and angry. He whispered apologies against her flesh, begging forgiveness for not having been there through her recovery. She felt the brush of his eyelashes and his tears drop against her and hushed him, her fingers carding through his soft curls. Issey said nothing. He didn't need to apologize, but he'd never believe her. She let him grieve what she already had.

In the morning they called their closest friends and family to share the news of the engagement. They left Mia and Chris for their final calls and went to separate rooms to make them.

Issey texted Chris before calling, knowing he would most likely already be on set.

To Chris: Got a second to talk?

To Issey: For you always, urgent or can you give me 5?

To Chris: It can wait. Nothing to worry about.

To Issey: I'll call you in a few.

When he called she picked up first ring. "I'm sorry, were you working?"

"I'm making props; I was covered in spray glue."

She laughed, "Only you. I just wanted to let you know before it's out everywhere, Darren and I got engaged last night."

It took him a minute to respond but she could hear talking in the background. It could have been that he needed to let the information sink in, or it could have been someone else diverting his attention. "Congratulations!" he said finally, sounding like he meant it.

"Thank you. He surprised me last night, came home early. I just wanted you to know, I mean, I know you're over it and whatever but, I don't know, it wasn't long ago we were…"

She heard him give a little exhale that sounded like a laugh of derision. "Over it. Not the word choice I would use but okay. I'm happy for you, it makes perfect sense."

"What does that mean?" there was an edge to her voice, she wished there wasn't.

"If the baby was mine I would have proposed, I mean, you'd have said no, but I'd have done it. It makes sense that he proposed now. You're getting a house together, you're having a baby together, he makes you happy, when he isn't lying to you…sorry, I've got to get back to work. I'm happy for you, I am. We'll talk soon."

"Chris? Wait. I…I don't know what to say here, but I feel like you're angry. Can I still stay with you this week?"

"Of course you can. Isn't he coming back to LA?" he sounded tired.

"He is, I just don't feel well enough to stay with him and his friends. Plus I wanted to spend a little time with you, we haven't had much time to talk lately. I miss you."

"Do you? You don't have to. I mean, you don't have to say you do if you don't."

"Of COURSE I do. I love you, you know. Truly. Always. I'm sorry if I haven't been the best friend lately but I've kind of had a lot going on." She regretted saying it as soon as she did. He knew what she had going on and saying what she had was like an accusation that he wasn't acknowledging it.

"I'm aware. So have I. I know you're stuff is way more important than mine but I don't know where I fit with you now, how much am I allowed to worry, or care?"

"My stuff isn't more important."

"Of course it is, you're fighting for your life, for the baby, it's more important that any movie, I didn't mean that to sound snide."

"It didn't. This movie is a huge deal; it could be life changing for you, that's important. As far as where you fit with me, Chris, I don't know how to make you understand that your friendship is every bit as important to me as our romantic relationship was, more even. I want to stay close to you, please don't let's lose that just because I'm marrying someone else."

"You trust him this time?" his voice was quiet.

"Completely. You aren't hurt are you?"

"No. We're over, I'm just still, sorting, what we meant I guess."

"And a little pissed that I've been able to move on as quick as I have?"

"Not pissed."

"What then?"

"I guess I am hurt. I have no right to be, you were always going to be his, and we both knew that even when we pretended we didn't. I guess that's why you didn't need any time before going back to him."

"I took time, just not a lot. If you were straight, I don't know Chris, I really don't, but you aren't, and I love him completely. It wasn't just me who wasn't in our relationship for the long haul if we're honest."

"You're right, I'm not saying otherwise, I'm just saying it changed me, how I feel about myself, about relationships, about sex, all of it. It wasn't just a diversion on my way to something else."

"I don't know if this is just going to make things worse but I'm going to tell you anyway. I couldn't be with Darren now if I hadn't been with you. It's that simple. You weren't a diversion, you were a necessary experience, and you were a revelation as to what could happen if I trusted. I will never regret what we did; I'll never be able to thank you for what you gave me. I needed you more than you will ever know and I'm sorry if I haven't made that clear to you."

"Issey I'm just overtired and feeling out of sorts. I know, I know all of this, and I love you and I know he loves you and as much as I hate to admit it I trust him too. When will you be in LA?"

"Tomorrow Darren and I are spending another night in Vegas and we'll be there tomorrow to see the house."

"Call me when you're here, I'll give you directions to the set so I can give you a house key. I have a night shoot but the next night I'm clearing for dinner with you if that's ok?"

"Perfect. Love you."

"You too."

In the other room Darren had called Mia, forgetting the time difference.

"Hell, fuck, hello?" He voice was whiskey and smoke and if he was honest with himself, pure sex.

"Shit, Mia, I woke you up, go back to sleep, I'll call you later."

"Dare? Are you in London?"

"Vegas"

"Jesus you get around, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, honestly I forgot the time difference, mostly I forgot the time you get up, seriously go back to sleep, we'll talk later."

He could hear her tell someone to go back to sleep and pictured her padding barefoot and nearly naked, hair wild and mascara smudged to the bright kitchen of her apartment.

"No, it's fine it's time I dragged my ass out of bed, what's up?"

"Not sure how to say this."

"You're marrying her." There was nothing accusatory in her voice.

"I am, yeah. I felt like I needed to tell you, ah, before you heard it elsewhere."

"Quit making this awkward Dude, we're friends now right? You've got your girl, you're starting a family, right on, am I invited?"

"Of course. I mean we just got engaged last night so we have no plans but of course we want you there."

"If I hated her I'd be pissed right now, y'know? Like, why are you telling me, go live your life man, but she's cool, we're good. Not gonna say I won't shed a tear over what could have been, we were good together weren't we?"

"We were great together Mia, you know I'll always love you. I came to you a boy and you helped make me the man I am."

"Tell her she owes me a thank you for that."

"I think she knows. She adores you."

He could hear the sunshine smile in her voice, "everyone does."

"Was that a new friend I woke up?"

"Old friend, you remember Petey?"

" Sweet Pete, boy followed you like a hungry puppy."

"He got called up to the majors."

"Hope he earns his spot."

"You know me, nothing's ever easy."

"Loving you is easier than you think."

"Stop being sweet I'm trying not to be in love with you."

"Good luck, I'm irresistible."

"So you always told me. Go tell your girl congrats, I'm gonna wake Petey for his morning kibble."

Neither asked how the others call went, some things weren't for their new lives, they belonged to the old.

Darren poured her orange juice and raised an eyebrow at her. "Wanna see the Internet explode?"

She laughed, "do it, then shut off both our phones and lets get some sleep."

Darren tweeted their engagement with a photo of the ring on her finger then powered down their phones and carried her off to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a day of complete bliss, just the two of them, phones off and left behind at the hotel. Staying away from the strip they spent hours playing old school video and vintage pinball machines at the Pin Ball Museum. Darren didn't want to leave until he beat the high score on Captain Fantastic but Issey found the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game and he abandoned the Captain immediately.

When they'd had their fill of dinging and clanging Darren asked what Is wanted to do next, he was worried about wearing her out but she felt better than she had in forever and had one place she really wanted to visit together.

"Liberace Museum."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"This? Right here? This is why I'm marrying you."

Without their phones they were camera-less so Darren stopped and bought a cheap single use one and they took the usual ridiculous tourist photos with all the rhinestone encrusted memorabilia. Darren drooled over the colorful shoe collection and Issey teased him about the matches he could make with his insane sock collection. The place wasn't too crowded so when a small family made their way in Darren and Issey noticed and giggled a little at how excited the mother was to see all the shiny and how the teen daughter looked like she'd rather be having a root canal. Dad was busy corralling the young boy who looked to be about 4 and desperate to touch anything he could. Issey teased that Darren was exactly like him on the inside and he confessed it was true.

When the family got just a little closer to them the teen girl's eyes widened.

"Don't look now but I think you've got a fan." Issey whispered.

Before he could turn to peek Darren heard his name in a small, nervous voice.

"Darren? Are you Darren Criss?"

"I am! Who are you?" Darren beamed in her direction.

It was a few minutes of completely lost composure as she realized she had about as close to a private audience with him as she'd ever get. Amelia was her name; she was 15 and apparently a huge Glee fan who missed the tour because her "stupid" parents insisted she go to Paris with them instead of stay behind with her Grandparents to see the show. Darren asked her about where she lived, about school, and music and what she liked and hated about Paris and Las Vegas. He introduced her to Issey and she admitted to having seen their engagement photo earlier on Tumblr and Twitter. Her parents came to see who this boy was she was talking to and so introductions were made all around.

Darren asked her if she had her phone and she did so he posed for a few pictures with her, kissing her cheek in one which brought tears to her eyes. They made a little more small talk then her family convinced her to let Darren have his privacy and thanked him for being so kind.

Issey curled an arm around his waist as they left the museum, "You made her day."

"She made mine, well, mine was already made cause I'm spending it with you, but I love meeting people one on one like that."

"You're a very special guy, you know that?"

"I'm a lucky guy. The day I forget that slap the shit outta me."

"Bank on that."

They kissed quickly and he noticed the slight droop to her eyes. "How about we eat back at the hotel?"

"Are you sure? There isn't somewhere you want to go? It's Vegas."

"I've had enough neon for one day, unless there's something you want to do."

'Uh-uh. I'm happy just having you all to myself."

They ate room service on the huge sofa in the living room of their hotel room, the balcony a little cool this particular evening. Snuggled together when they were full they listened to the soft jazz station Darren had found on the radio. "This is better than anything else happening in Las Vegas tonight."

She woke up early needing to pee, something that was becoming a full time occupation. When she returned to the room she caught sight of Darren in the slice of light showing between the drapes. He was on his stomach, arms over his head; one knee was bent out sideways. The sheet was half over his ass but he was otherwise naked. Issey couldn't help herself; she stood next to the bed for a minute and allowed herself to survey his body. She knew his feet so well, he was so frequently barefoot. His calves were strong, but his ankles delicate. Even in sleep the muscles in his thighs were defined, there was something about that she found comforting. It made no sense in the current world but she imagined it was evolutionary, finding a mate who would be a strong runner. His butt was a perfect swell of taunt flesh she loved to run her hands over. The cut of his back was accentuated by his position but she'd long been attracted to the way his broad shoulders cut down to a super trim waist.

The birthmark on his back barely showed in the low light but she could trace it in complete darkness. He'd stopped keeping up with his Blaine haircuts leaving the back of his neck a little scraggly. The facial hair was staging a return which pleased her deeply. His jaw was slightly slack, lacking its usual masculine definition and lending an air of childlike beauty further emphasized by his gently pursed lips. His lashes, lush and dark, casting shadows of their own should have lost their charm sometime in the first million viewings but somehow they did not.

Trying her best to not disturb him she lowered her self gently into bed beside him. She moved slowly, uncurling herself far on her side of the bed releasing her breath when she was settled. Darren made a noise low in his throat and reached blindly until his arm curled around her. When she rolled over and kissed his cheek he mumbled something unintelligible and returned to the even breathing of sleep.

"…and I bet we'll be able to camp out in the back yard so we can fall asleep on the sand, listening to the ocean. Mommy will teach you all of the animals that live in the ocean and I'll teach you all the constellations in the sky." Issey woke to Darren whispering this to her belly. She ruffled his hair and met his smile with one of her own.

"What are you teaching my children?"

"I'm telling MY children about our new home and how we're going to make tents out of blankets and make a path to the ocean by putting their footprints in stepping stones on each birthday and how we'll have adventures sleeping outside and learning all about the nature around us."

"Did Daddy also tell you that he's going to put you to sleep by playing guitar outside on the patio every night when you're in bed so you can hear him and the waves and drift off to sweet dreams?"

"Only if Mommy sings. Your Mommy sings like an angel."

He kissed her and she nearly forgot to check the time. When she did she regretted it. "Darren! Why did you let me sleep so late? We've gotta get up, get in the shower and move."

"I was talking to our kids. You've had a head start."

"Well, the kids and I need to shower so we're getting up."

"There's room for two in that shower."

"Probably, but not for four."

They showered in separate bathrooms and met back in the room to dress. She was wrapped in a towel, he hadn't bothered. Issey stood at the mirror blow drying her hair and Darren came up behind her and began kissing her shoulder, rubbing his stubble across it. She laughed and blew the hot air at him to shoo him away.

"I take it the folks at the hotel worked pretty hard on your whole stars and candles proposal."

"I HELPED." He insisted pulling on his jeans, not bothering with underwear.

"Uh-huh."

"I DID. I did the candles at the bottom of the pool AND strung some of the lights."

"Sure you did."

"I DID!"

"Truly?" She shut off the dryer and looked at him.

"Honestly. I didn't want this to be something someone else did. They helped of course, I couldn't have done that all by myself, but I was up on ladders stringing lights all day. That's why you had to take such a late flight."

She crossed to him and traced her fingers though the hair on his chest. "You're a very sweet boy you know." Kissing happened. Lots of kissing until she realized Darren's jeans were getting closer to off than on and backed away. "Stop distracting me with your lusciousness young man, I have to get dressed."

He tugged at the towel, just to, y'know, help, but she scurried away leaving him with just a handful of terry.

Tugging her dress over her head she refocused him, "My point, before I was deliciously interrupted was that the hotel was helpful with the proposal."

"They were, they're always good to you, they love you, that was clear when I approached them with what I wanted to do." He had given in and tugged on a shirt and was even making a pass at his hair with a brush.

"We should send them something to thank them."

"Oh, good idea, but there are so many people that helped, what should we send?"

"Not fruit or alcohol, those are too overdone. What about chocolates and pastries?"

"They can get that here at the restaurants. Ugh, it has to be special, not flowers, they see those every day."

He zipped her dress while she put on her makeup. "We'll figure it out. I already sent Jim a bottle of Glenfiddich to thank him for getting you here."

"Aw, he'll love that. Maybe we should find out specifically who helped you here so we can send personal thank you's."

"I'll take care of it when we check out. Are you about ready?"

"One last step out to the balcony?"

They stepped out and looked out over what they had begun to think of as their own. The candles had been removed from the pool, Darren had had them boxed and shipped back to their home in L.A. The lights were still up but would be gone before the next person checked in. She ran a finger over the piano keys. "I can still see you, that first night. I was so worried what I thought you would be like and you shattered every expectation in the very first second."

He laughed, "I'd heard you were an uptight slave driver who never let her guard down, four hours later you were asleep on my shoulder."

"I was already in love."

"Me too."

She tugged at a loop on his jeans, "C'mon Papa Bear, it's time to say goodbye Vegas."

He stopped her before she opened the door, his eyes warm honey, "I love this place."

"Good things do seem to happen here." His hands were at her hips and she hummed happily at the heat of his mouth against her throat. "We need to go, we've got a flight."

His fingers dug into her lower back, "Are you suggesting we wait and join the mile high club?"

Stepping into the room she shouldered her carry on, "I'm suggesting we need to check out of here, fly home and go see our new house."

He cocked an eyebrow at her, "And christen it?" He pulled his rolling bag behind him and followed her into the hall.

"We have workmen there." She pushed the button for the elevator

"Only downstairs, not up in the bedrooms, not yet, right?" He tugged their suitcases behind him. "If I have to hand you over to Colfer I'd like a little parting gift."


	4. Chapter 4

Getting through McCarren and LAX took longer than the flight itself. Issey hated flying commercial, realizing how spoiled that made her sound, it was just such a hassle to wade through all the tourists and exhausted families returning to their hum drum lives. She always thought there should be two separate airports, completely separate services in each city, a business airline that had express checking and no nonsense everything for commuters who spent half their lives on a plane and then another airport all together for everyone else. Just let the pros do their thing.

It wasn't that she hated the vacationers but, she thought, wouldn't they be happier on flights with fun themes and airports that were festive and possibly a little remedial to help them navigate? Business folks could do without the party atmosphere and over signage, preferring function instead, sleek open lanes with fast moving pass stations, more ports for laptops, power strips, privacy booths for important phone calls, things that made sense.

She was grateful that the flight was quick, but as usual the paparazzi were swarming in LA, waiting for any sign of even the lowest tier of celebrity. The news of their engagement had blown up twitter and tumblr. Issey avoided looking, not wanting to see the hate thrown her way, but Darren checked and laughed at the ensuing drama. He loved that his fans were so passionate but was a little disappointed at the infighting, not to mention mystified at those that insisted this was a cover up for his fictional steamy relationship with Chris.

The photographers trailed them as they made their way to a waiting town car, asking the kinds of questions your closest friends would be too embarrassed to broach. Darren was charming with them as always, turning questions into opportunities to joke with them about their own wardrobes or lives. It was a gift she knew would serve him well as his star continued to rise. It made her proud to be his, to be by his side as he both cajoled them onto his side and protected her from their cameras and inquiries.

They took the car to his place to grab his car and leave his bags. Walking into the house made her stomach sour, it was behind them now but this would always be the place she lost him, the place her fears about him were realized. This was the true reason she wasn't staying here with him and although they hadn't discussed it she suspected he knew it based on how quickly he dropped his bags and got them out of there.

When they were settled into his car he punched the address of the new house into the GPS and eased onto the road. "I feel like I haven't driven in forever."

"I always feel that way when I get off a long tour. Like I haven't read a book or driven a car or watched a tv show or been a normal person in so long I don't remember how. "She sighed. "I suppose I'm going to have to hire someone to drive my car here from Boston. I'm not up for that road trip right now."

"We can probably get one of my friends to do it. We're going to have to go back before shooting starts anyway to pack up your apartment. Do you have it listed yet?"

"No. I'll do that when we get everything out. I don't want them showing it with my stuff there."

"Good thinking. How long are you planning on staying with Chris?"

"Just a week, then I have to go back to Boston for doctor appointments. I figure I'll pack then and get movers set up, depending on how much of the house is ready I guess. If it takes longer than we think to get into the house I'll either hole up at at a hotel or rent a place until it's ready."

"I've got a show in St. Louis next week but I'm gonna be in and out, I think I have a show before that in San Francisco the day before that, I can go straight from St. Louis to Boston. I want to be at the doc appointments and I'll help you pack."

"That will work. I'm hoping the downstairs is almost done. Upstairs is just repainting so it won't take long at all."

"Have you ordered the cribs we picked yet?"

"No, I wanted to wait until we saw their room. I did order our bed but I want to actually shop for the linens and stuff together, in an actual store. Is that, like, too cliché'?"

He reached out for her hand, "Of course not. I'll have time tomorrow if you want to go shop for house stuff."

"Okay, I have dinner plans with Chris but we can spend the day picking up stuff. OOOH, we can start making lists while we're there today."

"You have a list problem."

"How is it a problem? My lists save time."

"You have lists of your lists."

"It's important to be organized. You'll see."

"I trust you. Just don't expect me to be sticking to the chart, I'm too impulsive."

"I'm fine with adding, I just don't want to forget anything."

As they pulled up to the house she sat forward in her seat as if she'd see it faster by leaning. Not much of the house was visible from the road; it was hidden by trees and brush as were most of the homes in the area.

"I don't know if I like all that greenery in front of the house."

Darren shrugged, "I imagine it slows down the paparazzi."

Issey had to agree, she'd spent her entire career helping her charges dodge the press when they didn't want to be bothered but now it hit home that it wasn't just Darren or herself that she would need to protect. Their children's photos would be sought after for money and the idea made her physically ill. She hadn't thought about security when she'd chosen the house but was now glad it was on a private street, that they had a private stretch of beach where intruders would be easily recognizable. In Boston she was never home enough to know here neighbors but here she would make a point of being at least casually acquainted with the community.

"I don't want our kids being watched like zoo animals." She said as they climbed out of the car.

"There are ways to avoid that, I've been thinking about it too. It seems like the more you try to hide them the harder people work to get to them. It might be best to do the photo shoots, choose the outlet that will handle them with respect and then just live our lives. If we secret them away we make them a holy grail." They walked hand in hand around the perimeter of their home and entered through the downstairs living area.

Workmen in hardhats were everywhere and the noise level was high. The wall was being cut for the aquarium, the flagstones being set into the fireplace where the brick had been stripped away. They got a few curious glances but it wasn't until the foreman caught sight of them that anyone asked them who they were. Darren introduced himself and Issey and they were given a tour of the work done so far.

It wasn't exactly as she'd imagined, but it was beautiful. The work had only been done on the ground floor, upstairs remained untouched so the foreman left them on their own to explore the upper levels. Moving from room to room they discussed colors and uses, they had a few extra rooms that would eventually belong to the children when they separated them but for now they would keep them together in a long room perfect for twins.

The Master Bedroom was on the smaller side compared to the gigantic, spacious living areas but still perfect for a cozy hideaway. They had their own balcony, complete with a fireplace and stunning ocean view. Issey inspected the master bath and found Darren on the deck, a soft breeze moving through the waves of his hair. For the millionth time in the past few days she thought about how lucky she was, everything she never even realized she wanted was right here with her, wanting her back.

Moving behind him she wrapped herself around him prompting him to turn and pull her to his side. "You're pretty good at this house buying stuff."

"Do you really love it? Be honest."

"I really do. It's like being on vacation every day in here."

"Is there anything you wish we're different? We can tell the contractor now if you want to change something."

"The only thing I don't love," he faced her and pulled her closer,"is having to wait to move in here with you."

"Hmm, not a fan if that myself. You know our water is on, our electric is on, it is OUR house, we could camp out here tonight."

"If you're serious I have a blow up mattress at home but it isn't the most comfortable thing, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Are you gonna be on that mattress with me?"

"Bank on it."

"Then I'll be comfortable. C'mon, I want you to see the basement then we can go grab what we need for tonight."

She hadn't told him her plans for the lowest level of the house so he was majorly surprised to find she'd had a complete recording studio built in.

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it but I wanted it to be a surprise."

He touched every piece of equipment with the awe of a kid on Christmas morning. "This is an awesome surprise! It's like a professional studio!"

"It IS a pro studio." She sat on the edge of one of the boards. "I've been thinking, you clearly have a music career ahead of you, writing, performing all of it. I'd like to be on the road less with the kids so I can coach from here but I was also thinking, we know all the right people, we're both comfortable behind the boards, maybe we could scout some talent, and, I don't know, start out own little label."

He shook his head and looked up at her, "Our own label?"

"Not right away of course, but for awhile we could use the studio for us and our friends but, y'know, it's something to think about for our future."

"You've never mentioned wanting to produce or anything like that. I LOVE the idea. Has this always been a goal of yours? How would I not know that?"

"Never even considered it. When I was thinking about the house I was thinking you could use a music room and it sort of snowballed. I never thought I'd leave the road until...well, you."

His face went serious, "But will you be happy? If this was something you'd always had on the back burner then okay, but if you never wanted to leave the road, if that's what you really love doing..."

She reached for him and he closed the distance between them. "I loved being on the road because I was afraid if I stood still I'd notice how empty my life was without work. Now, I have every reason to be still and just enjoy every moment. You and our kids gave me permission to stop and imagine what I could do if I didn't have to keep on the move. I'm more than happy, I'm content and I don't know if many people get that, to be wanting and needing nothing more than what you have."

He rubbed his nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss. "Thank you."

"For what?"

He kissed her,"For letting me be the guy you slowed down for."

"I think you promised me we'd break this place in today." She ran her hands up his sides.

He looked at her amused, "Really? Now?"

She was already tugging his shirt up, "You got somewhere else to be?"

"There are workmen upstairs and we'll have the place to ourselves all night." His mouth was clearly ignoring his hands because as he spoke he was unzipping her dress.

"So tonight we can break in upstairs, right now I say we test out the soundproofing in the studio."


	5. Chapter 5

Darren and Issey made notes for each room, things they would need, things they'd use from their own homes, things they would decide about later. Given their past relationships and the ghosts associated with them they would purchase a new bed for their room and use Darren's, still quite new bed in a guest room. Her bed would be used in a guest room as well, but with a new mattress as hers was a little older. Neither had much in the way of kitchen things so they would purchase new for nearly everything they would need there. After ensuring the soundproofing in the studio was beyond reproach (twice), they set to go out shopping. Her first stop was a rental car; she got herself a large SUV so they could move some things into the spaces that were ready enough for moving in.

After picking up the rental they went back to Darren's to drop his off and pick up the mattress and some pillows for the night. She followed him in but didn't tag along to the basement where he needed to do some excavating to find his camping gear. When he returned triumphant he didn't find Issey in the living room as he'd expected. He looked outside and called her name, the SUV was still there, so he went in and checked his room.

Issey lay on his bed, one of his sweatshirts pulled over her shoulders as a blanket, sleeping. She had been so excited to get started on their lives together, to move forward, but the fact remained she was recovering and pregnant and needed rest. Darren smiled to himself; it was a relief to him that she could rest in this room. The air in here had felt heavy since the moment she'd found out about Mia, the sadness hanging like a cloud until now.

He could tell she'd used the lightly scented lotion she kept in her purse right before she fell asleep; it perfumed the air and changed everything about the way the space felt. Her little hums and sighs, barely audible over the air conditioner but still sweet sounding and inviting. They always meant she was over tired and about to fall into a sleep so deep she would have to be shaken to be woken.

He went to the closet and pulled out a fresh sheet knowing even when it was unbearably hot she couldn't sleep without some cover. There was a grumble when he removed the sweatshirt but she settled down when he replaced it with the crisp cotton and snuggled in beside her. His throat had felt raspy and there was a tickle behind his eyes that suggested a cold was coming on. He'd been going nonstop for too long and a rest was just fine with him.

"Is? Issey? Wake up! " They had slept until early evening, Darren only waking when his phone rang but even that didn't disturb Isabelle's rest.

He kissed her cheek and touched her shoulder, "Babe, wake up."

She opened her eyes slowly, not ready to relinquish the peaceful dreamland she'd found. "I just want to lay down for a little bit." She mumbled before letting her lids droop again.

"We've been sleeping for hours." He was kneeling next to her, phone still clutched in his hand. "I need to talk to you, please Isabel."

His use of her full first name coupled with the controlled hysteria in his voice finally roused her. She smacked her lips and reached out to pat his thigh, "Alright, I'm up, what's going on?"

The words came out but he could tell she wasn't all the way awake yet. He'd know soon if she was listening or drifting, "My agent just called, I got an unbelievable offer but we have to talk about it."

She sat up and rubbed at her eyes. "Offer? We start shooting Glee in less than a month."

"I know, it's for the winter break. They want me to replace Dan Radcliffe in How To Succeed for three weeks on Broadway."

He was barely containing his excitement, but there was concern layered in there too.

"Darren that's INCREDIBLE! Congratulations! " she leaned forward lifting her arms quickly to wrap around him and wincing at the pain. She had slept hard enough to forget her limited range of motion from the surgery.

He leaned in and hugged her gently instead then they settles together against hi headboard.

"It's a crazy offer, I don't know how I can say no."

"Why would you say no?" She was stunned.

"I'd miss two episodes of Glee, I'm exhausted at the end of shooting and Succeed is a really physical show. I haven't got a big enough voice for Broadway, not to mention I don't have the chops for the dancing. Dan nails it, I'd hate to let people down."

"You're out of your mind. You can do this part. You'll kill it. If you think it's going to be too exhausting with Glee then say no, I'll back you up, but please don't let this opportunity go because you doubt your talent. You're better than you believe you are."

"You'll work on the songs with me? My voice is so thin I'm worried ill be drowned out by the orchestra."

"You won't be. We'll make sure."

"The biggest thing though is it'll be December and January . You'll be very close to your due date, and with twins they could, I mean they probably will come early. I don't want you traveling then, I don't even know if its safe for you to fly that pregnant but there's no way I'm going to be across the country from you at that point."

She considered this a few minutes. "We'll figure it out. Mid December we stop shooting right? At that point I'm still two months from my due date."

"I'll need to leave around the beginning of December."

"I don't know if I'll still be needed by then but I'd not, if they can let me go then too it will be easier to travel and we can just move into your place in New York."

"Our place. Our place in New York. But what about after the show, it will be too late for you to fly back."

She stroked her fingers across the back of his hand, a hand that was rested on her belly, holding their babies. "We'll figure it out. You're doing this."

Issey checked her phone when they finally decided to move and found 2 texts from Chris. She'd forgotten to update him about her plans to stay at her own house that night so she texted him back letting him know she'd see him tomorrow.

"Still feel like shopping?" Darren wondered as she slowly pulled herself from his bed.

"Eating. Then shopping, I'm starving."

Darren wanted a burger, thick and greasy, Issey couldn't argue with that so they went to The Grove and hit Unami Burger before heading to Crate and Barrel to start checking things off their list. Issey started toward the mixers but Darren was stuck "ooh"ing at a bright red snow cone maker.

"Tell me you're kidding. We have no pots and pans, no dishes, no bed for that matter and the first thing you want is a snow cone maker?"

"Think of all the money we'd save, we wouldn't have to go out for snow cones!"

"When was the last time you actually left your house in pursuit of a snow cone?"

"It happens more often than you'd think. C'mon."

"Once is more often than I think. Do you really think we'll use it?"

"Probably not. Okay Mama Bear, let's go buy boring pots and pans." He pretended to pout but took her hand and dutifully pretended to care which mixer they chose. Issey stood staring at pots and pans wishing her sister was there to guide her. She knew non stick was the way to go, she knew enough to choose handles that wouldn't get hot, but which pans would she really use and which would sit and gather dust? No clue.

In the end she chose a small 5 piece set of necessities and decided to wait to consult her family about the rest. They got a baking set with cookie sheets, muffin tins and cooling racks because Darren started "mmm"ing about the cookies they could bake. She liked the dark brown dinnerware but decided to wait to check Nordstrom to check for something more exciting. They drifted through bed and bath, and then looked at the barware. Issey was getting antsy. Everything seemed so earth toned and she wanted something more visually and texturally stimulating. Darren agreed so they purchased the mixer and cookware, took it to the SUV and went to Nordstrom with higher hopes.

They began again in kitchen stuff. She flipped over hand painted ceramic soup bowls in teal and coral that would be perfect. It turned out they were part of an entire dishware set so she quickly scooped those up, losing sight of Darren who had found swizzle sticks that resembled drum sticks and snuck them in with their order before she could give him the side eye.

They did find a number of things they liked but not loved so in the end decided to call it a night and head for home. Issey realized they had brought clothes for the evening but no towels or curtain for the shower so they took a quick run through the bath department for essentials, none of which excited Issey but Darren found a shower curtain he "connected with on a spiritual level which turned out to be called "Harmony". Making their way back to the car they passed MAC cosmetics and Issey's gaze must have settled a little too long through the window because Darren gently took her elbow and led her in.

"There's nothing I need here. This is silly."

"So don't get anything, just browse. Be a girl, you deserve it."

She smiled fondly at him, kissed his cheek and roamed the counters not paying any attention to him or where he was. When she'd seen all she cared about she found him sniffing lotions and flirting with the girls behind the counter. Flirting was as natural for Darren as breathing, Issey actually enjoyed watching him charm the ladies for a bit before collecting him as her own and heading out the door.

He drove back to the house, she fiddled with the radio until Someone To Watch Over Me poured out of the speakers. She stroked his arm resting on the center console and serenaded him. At a red light he leaned over for a kiss and as they broke apart she whispered, "Ella".

He looked at her amused and confused "What?"

"Ella. Officially Bellatrix but not Trixie, too stripper, not Bella because if anyone ever thought I named my daughter after a character in Twilight I'd end up in an asylum, but Ella, like Ella Fitzgerald, I love that."

His smile started with his mouth, reached his cheeks and illuminated his eyes. "Ella. Christ I love that." He reached over and touched her stomach, "What do you think in there, is one of you a girl? Do you want your name to be Ella?"

She looked down at her belly. "I can't wait until we know, it's driving me crazy. I just want to know, boys, girls, both?"

"Do you think we should tell people soon? About it being twins I mean?"

"Soon, I keep almost slipping and saying "they" or "them" instead of "the baby", and as people come to see the house they're going to notice we have two cribs and all."

"Okay, so tomorrow maybe?" He looked so serious now as he navigated the unfamiliar roads in the dark.

"Wow, really, that soon?" She considered, "Alright. Why not? Tomorrow. Have you thought about the fact that we're going to wake up to the sound of construction being done in our home tomorrow?"

"And pretty early too. Do you want to skip it and get a hotel or something?"

"No, I just, hadn't really thought this through that well I guess, but still, let's do it."

At a grocery store near the house they got snacks for the night and things for the morning before finally going home.

Once they got out of the car it was pitch dark in the garage and neither knew where to find a light switch so Darren led, arms stretched in front of him to stop him walking into walls, her following close enough behind so that when he stopped she crashed into his back and they both laughed.

"I feel like we're going through a haunted house." She said wrapping her arms at his waist as he walked forward slowly.

He began to sing "Casper the friendly ghost, the friendliest ghost you've seen…"

It made her giggle and soon he was at the door struggling to get his key in the lock he couldn't see. While he jiggled and stabbed and swore under his breath she kissed the back of his neck with short nippy smacks. The second he got the door open, and before she could realize what was happening he turned and lifted her into his arms crossing into their home and found the counter closest to the door. He set her down quickly and dipped his head to kiss her throat and across her shoulder. His voice had a little grit to it when he breathed the words into her ear, "You looking to start something Isabelle?"

"We have to bring everything in from the car." She feigned pushing him away but with no force what so ever.

"It can wait." He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth before she could respond.

She lost herself in the kiss, using her legs to pull him closer and scratching her nails lightly at his neck. Darren had a habit of tracing small circles at her hip while they kissed and the feeling of it sent shivers through her whole body.

When they parted she kept her arms locked behind his head. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" he kissed the space right in front of her ear.

"For not picking you the first time. For not letting you kiss me when you wanted to. For pushing you away when all I ever wanted was to be so close to you I wouldn't be able to tell where I ended you started. For not letting you know every minute of every day how I ache with how much I love you because it's too big to fit in my skin."

His eyes welled, hers were already spilling over. "Where did that come from?"

"It's always there, I just don't always say it so you don't get sick of it, but honestly Darren, there's not a single moment in the day that I don't look over at you and wonder how I ever got so lucky."

He looked in her eyes for a long time before shrugging, "I'm the lucky one. If you hadn't come back to me I'm not sure what I would have done."

Awhile later they had the new things brought inside and were sitting on the floor of the deck outside their bedroom listening to the ocean. Darren scooted away from her and tapped his lap, "Give me your foot."

She lifted her brows at him but gave in quickly expecting a foot massage but then he pulled a bottle from his pocket and she watched as he brushed a flirty pink coating over her toenails. "Where did you get that?"

"M.A.C. I've watched you frown at your toes long enough."

"I don't frown at my toes."

"Your toes have been polished since I met you and now since your surgery you haven't had time for a pedicure, you haven't been able to do them yourself so…" He let the rest hang there as he finished her pinky toe with a flourish.


	6. Chapter 6

It was a wonderful night in their new home. They stayed up late, having slept so much in the afternoon. They did a little shopping online, creating a bed they loved so much on Ethan Allen's website they pulled the trigger and purchased it without even looking elsewhere.

They were still on the deck, not really wanting to leave the soft breeze or the sound of the waves in the distance. Darren sat back away from the computer and ran a hand through his hair. "So, ah, have you given any thought to when you want to get married?"

"You proposed two days ago." Issey tried to cover her smile but couldn't stop herself from looking down at the ring she'd always dreamed of.

"Fair enough."

"You let that go quickly. Have you thought about it?"

"Only constantly, but I want to leave it up to you."

She moved the computer from her lap and turned to face him. "Why? It's OUR wedding, not my wedding."

"True, but you know how you feel, physically I mean, I don't want to push you to do it too soon, I want you to be able to enjoy it, have the perfect wedding, and then I don't know how you feel about getting married when you're demonstrably pregnant so if not before then we'd have to wait until the twins are born and that would be in winter, and this winter is going to be fucking ridiculously busy so then we're talking spring. We could wait until we finish shooting for next season, that's reasonable I guess."

She turned to lean into him, resting her head against his shoulder and snuggling in deeper when he wrapped an arm around her. "You really have given this some thought. I guess late spring next year is the smartest decision."

The waves crashed and their breathing synced up. The smell of the salt water was intoxicating.

"I don't want to make the smart decision. I want to do this soon." She concluded finally.

"Thank God!" He pressed his lips to her temple.

"Where? Did you want to do it in San Francisco?" she played her fingers under the edge of his shorts, tugging a little at the frayed material there.

"That would be nice, but your entire family is on the East Coast. I've got people everywhere. What about Boston?"

"I'm leaving Boston behind. What if we did it here? Wait until the house is ready and invite everyone over for a house warming then, bam, surprise wedding."

"I love that idea, but it's pretty casual, are you sure you don't want something more formal?"

"Uh-uh. Barefoot, on the beach with the man I love, that's all that matters to me. I told you, I didn't dream about the big wedding. If you want something more traditional I'm down but I'm good with a great party here at our home. Everyone can come casual and just enjoy the beach. We could barbeque, and set up a volleyball net."

"You're getting excited about this I can tell."

"Again, though, if you want something else…"

"I want you. That sounds like heaven to me. When do you guess the house will be ready?"

"Depends on how much we get done this week. The actual work on the house I'm thinking should be ready in two weeks, max, if we can get serious about picking furniture and everything I think we could get married as soon as next month."

"We start shooting Glee next month."

"Sooner?"

"Sooner."

"We're going to be in Boston in two weeks. I guess we could do it right when we get back. We're cutting it close though."

He thought for a bit, "We could do it the first weekend of shooting. The schedule won't be as heavy as usual and everyone from the show will be in town for sure. We'd have a week and a half more or less at home to get everything ready."

"Okay. Let's do it."

"Really? So in like, 3 weeks we're getting married?"

She shrugged, "Why not?"

"This is…YES!" He kissed her and Issey laughed into it.

"I might have to hire a decorator to help get the house in order. What do you think?"

"I like your style better, it's more personal if we do it ourselves. Besides, if the house isn't perfect so what, these are just the people we care about, they'll be so excited about the wedding they won't notice if we don't have the perfect art hanging in the hall yet."

"Good. Yes. And the wedding will be easy enough, we have to get blood tests and a license and find someone to do the ceremony. I can order invitations to the 'house warming' online…what else?"

"Food's easy, we'll get a caterer that does barbeque and maybe they can do a clam bake in the sand too."

"We already have an outside sound system so music is settled. I guess we should pick a few people to tell, like family that has to come far and oh, do we want to do the whole 'best man, maid of honor thing?"

"I'd like to have my brother be my best man, I think I'd like some of the guys to be groomsmen but then it turns into a whole big deal. What about you?"

"I could have my sister be my matron of honor, other than that I don't really have a lot of girlfriends that I'd want to…, it just seems like a lot of work for people. Let's just do that, Soph and Chuck, that's it. I like that."

"And Benji and Olivia could be the ring bearer and flower girl, they're so cute!" Darren was on a roll with this now.  
"They'd love that. Well Olivia would, not sure how Benji will feel about getting dressed up."

"Dressed up? I thought you wanted casual."

"For the guests yes, and for us too, but I'd like us to look a little special. No tux and white gown but, a nice dress…"

"I have the perfect dress." He popped an eyebrow and kissed her cheek. "You tired?"

"Not really, why?"

"Let's take a walk on the beach."

They walked, letting their hands swing together between them, the water licking up at their feet. "You're going to have to learn to surf now, once the kids are here."

"Been thinking about that. I think I'd rather be the one on the beach taking pictures."

"Chicken."

"Not really, I just, I don't need the thrill, I get my kicks just seeing you out there, and watching you teach them, I don't feel any desire to do it myself."

He let her hand go and snaked an arm around her waist, "You sure you're not afraid of the water?" Before she could protest he'd scooped her into his arm and ran to deeper water.

"Darren NO! I'm serious, don't dump me in!" she was panicking, flailing in his arms in a way he hadn't anticipated.

He put her down, only knee deep in the water and kept his arms around her. "Hey, okay, I was just playing." He tried to soothe her but she was shaking.

"I didn't want…I don't…" she started to cry, "Forget it, I'm sorry, I know, I know what you were trying to do, I'm sorry."

He dipped his head to meet her downcast eyes. "What's wrong?"

"The water, the scars, they're getting there but they aren't really healed and…"

He cut her off pulling her into him, "Christ Issey, I completely forgot…I'm an asshole, I can't believe I forgot, I'm so so sorry."

A laugh broke through her tears, "I love that you forgot, that's the best present you could ever give me, I just got really scared for a second that would have stung like a son of a bitch, salt water!"

He looked relieved that she was okay, and honestly seemed happy. "I still feel bad but you're sure you're good?"

She stroked his hair and wrinkled her nose, "Better than good. You'll never know what it means that you can look at me and not see the surgery, or the cancer. Let's keep walking for a bit."

They continued the walk after a few sweet kisses, both happy for the companionable silence but it was Issey who broke it. "Mia and Chris."

Darren nodded, "We'll have to tell them."

"It's not the sort of thing you can spring on them once they're here. Do you thin k Mia will come?"

"She said she would. What about Chris?"

"I can't imagine him not being here. He needs a boyfriend."

"He's too busy for a boyfriend."

"We're all busy, but for the right person you find time."

"True."

Later, snuggled in on the air mattress she traced the veins on his arms with a fingertip and fell asleep amazed at how beautiful each inch of skin was on this man who was going to be hers forever in a few weeks.

They expected to wake up to the crashes and bangs of construction but instead it was the sun blasting into the room without any shades or curtains that roused them. He showered first and when she came out she found him on the deck outside the kitchen a cup of tea waiting for her beside him.

They had a game plan for shopping and set out before the workmen even showed up. When Darren cleared his throat for the 7th time as she debated between two curtain patterns for the kids room she turned to him. "Stop that, you're killing your vocal chords."

"My throat hurts."

"We'll get you some tea and lemon to cut the phlegm."

"Or a snow cone?"

"We're ordering that maker today."

"I'm just saying think of how great it would be when the kids get sick."

"You win already, stop campaigning."

With the wedding deadline looming they made choices much more quickly. By lunchtime they had a fairly well put together beginning. While they ate he busily tinkered with his phone until she sighed loudly.

"Yes?"

"Is what is on your screen right now more interesting than talking to your future wife?"

"A little."

"Wow."

He turned the screen to show her a list of Justice of Peace availability for their chosen date.

"You win. See anyone good?"

"Hard to tell, should we call a few and meet with them first?"

"Make some calls, see if they can fit us in today, we don't have much time for this."

They were able to find two people willing to meet with them that afternoon so after a little more shopping they made their way to the first JP. They got along so well with her, a 40-something year old grey haired retired judge who had a zest for life they admired, they cancelled the second appointment and hired her on the spot. They learned from her that they could get a marriage license without blood tests and could pick one up that very day as long as they had valid photo ID's.

Smiling at each other like a couple of teenagers they stood in line at the registrars office. Issey had filled in the online application as they drove over so they just needed to present their ID's and receive the license; it seemed too simple a thing for the magnitude of what they were feeling. It was like paying a speeding ticket not the reception of paperwork that would join them officially as one forever.

When they got back to the SUV Darren put the key in the ignition, turned the engine over then shut the car back off and turned in his seat to face her. "So, we're really doing this." His eyes were dancing.

"Looks that way." She bit her lip trying to hold in her smile.

"I wanna like scream, or jump around or something. I can't contain all of this inside." He was fidgeting in his seat, about to explode. She leaned in to kiss him and gasped when he licked into her mouth slowly then growled, "NOW."

"Darren, we're in a public parking lot. We spend enough time on Perez, I'd rather not have shots of us doing it in a rented suv in broad daylight be a part of that."

He sat back and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I'll drive, you find the closest hotel."

She found it, called and booked it. She still had her suitcase with her, ready to head to Chris's house when they were through shopping for the day so they felt just a little less obvious sat check in. Or they did until Darren started snacking on her neck at the desk. Clearly the receptionist had seen it all and paid no mind to their public displays.

In the elevator he thumbed at her hip bones, something she recognized as a precursor to some serious business with him. Inside the room there were few words, just mumbles of "beautiful" "love" "soon" "forever" with no real connections or context as they undressed each other quickly.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'll be there in 20 minutes." Issey talked in the direction of her blue tooth.

"So I'm ordering the food now. General Gau's Chicken?"

"Christopher you're on crack. Veg medley, white rice and maybe a small side of chicken wings. I can't eat the hot stuff right now."

"You're boring when you're pregnant."

"I remember a time when you thought different."

"You gonna let me do now what you let me do then?" he teased?

"Write all night? Sure."

"Low, Issey, low."

"Hanging up."

"Extra duck sauce?"

"Duh."

She no sooner disconnected and Darren's ring tone filled the truck. "Yes dear?"

"Are you there yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Oh, I thought you forgot to call me."

"I'm not going to forget to call you. What are you doing tonight?"

"Quality time with Joey in front of the TV. What are you guys eating?"

"Chinese."

"No General Gau's."

"I know."

"No kung pao."

"Darren, I KNOW. Go play with Joey. I'll call you when I get there to my white rice and veggies."

"Are you going to tell him tonight?"

"About the wedding? I don't know."

Darren was quiet.

"Probably. And the twins too. I just don't want to shove it down his throat right away. I'd like to hear how things are going with him first."

"Yeah. Cool. That's…that's cool. Okay, don't talk and drive. Be safe. I love you."

"I love you too."

Alone in the car she had time to think and she was actually a little nervous about this visit with Chris. They hadn't spent much time together since they broke up and she wasn't sure where the lines were drawn. Did she hug him? Did she sit close to him on the sofa? She was jittery and felt silly for it.

When she pulled into the driveway she hit Darren's speed dial.

"Babe?"

"I'm here."

"K"

"Hey, Papa Bear?"

She could hear the smile in his voice, "Yes Mama Bear?"

"Today was a good day."

"Sure was. Text me when you go to bed."

"Will do. Love you.

"Always."

She didn't have to knock; Chris was waiting in the doorway. "I thought you were the food."

"They that fast?"

He didn't need to answer, the delivery boy pulled in behind her.

It wasn't long before they were settled at the dining room table, food spread farther than two people would ever really require. "Think you ordered enough food?"

"I've been eating on the run since we got home, well, since the tour started, y'know, I wanted to be able to just relax and graze. Besides I knew you'd pick at some of the stuff you shouldn't as long as the food police wasn't here."

"He's not the food police, he's just trying to keep me healthy."

"And I'm just trying to keep you happy." Chris joked as he waived a jumbo fried shrimp in front of her.

"I'm plenty happy. Tell me about the movie, how's it going?"

"The cast is mind numbingly great, I walk onto set every day scared they're going to realize this is just some crap a teenage kid thought up and be pissed, but everyone's been really gracious and funny as shit. Some of the best lines are ones I never thought of. I haven't made it through a seen with Rebel yet without breaking, same with Angela, she's hysterical."

"What's Allison like? I've always loved her."

Chris put his chopsticks down and looked at her seriously. "I have never seen anything like it. She's a beast. She's funny and humble and sweet and we're having this silly conversation and a second later she's in character and just nailing this broken, sad woman role. I could watch her for hours."

"So you're having a good time."

He went back to shoveling a dumpling into his mouth and talking around it. "We're working our asses off but yeah, it's fun. Rob has been getting me out at night which is…new."

"Rob?" it was her turn to stop eating. The lilt in her voice made him shake his head.

"Cast member, and no, it's not like that. He's just cool to hang out with. I feel like I can just go get a drink or whatever with him and it's not a media event. Y'know before Glee I didn't have a ton of friends, not like I was a hermit, but I not a group like I did once I started the show, and in the beginning we were really tight and went everywhere together. Then the show hit and it became a media frenzy for us to just go to a movie. With Rob we just do things low key."

"Sounds great."

He kept his eyes on his food. "You're heading in the opposite direction."

"Huh?"

"Marrying Darren. Talk about media feeding frenzy. You guys are gonna be like blood in the water to those sharks."

"About that."

"Wait." He got up and went to the fridge, returning with a beer which he popped and drained half of in a swig. "Go."

"Really Chris?"

"What? I was thirsty."

"You have a gigantic glass of milk in front of you."

"I needed bubbles."

"Now you sound like a character from Finding Nemo."

A few minutes of trading lines from the movie lifted the mood, and then Chris finished the beer. "Okay, really, tell me."

"We're getting married in three weeks." She held his gaze, watching him hold then release his breath slowly. "It was the only time that made sense. I don't want to wait until the kids are here and I don't want to be gigantic pregnant. We aren't telling anyone, well, almost no one, just family, you and Mia. We're going to throw a housewarming and get married then. I just didn't want to blindside you."

"Thank you. Three weeks huh? That's…that's really soon."

"I know. I hope the house is ready but whatever, if it isn't it isn't. You will come right?"

"Someone has to bring the sea monkeys." He smiled, but she wasn't buying it.

She took his hand. "No joking, can you come and be happy for us?"

"Of course I can. I will. Can I bring Rob?"

"I thought it wasn't like that."

"It's not but… I don't know, maybe it is a little. On my side. Not his. Probably."

"OOOOOO."

"No ooo. Can I?"

"Yes, you can. And I promise I won't make any sort of insinuation about your relationship."

"Oh GOD please, PLEASE don't."

"I WON'T."

"Wait. Kids?"

"Kids?"

"You said before the kids get here."

"I have to get out of that habit."

He just glared at her.

"Yes, it's twins."

"Do you know yet?"

"Boys or girls? No. Not yet. Soon probably. I have more doctor appointments coming up so maybe then."

She still had his hand, he squeezed her gently. "How ARE you?"

"Sore still, I look like Frankenstein, but it's better every day."

"You're beautiful. Always."

"Thank you. To be honest I try not to say much to Darren about how it looks because I know he doesn't care and all but it's hideous and gross."

"It will get better. My neck used to be disgusting until it healed."

"That is the sexiest scar ever and you know it. This isn't going to be sexy ever. I like a door without the knockers. I know I should be grateful it's them that's going and not me, and I am, but I don't know how I'm going to feel feminine again. Not to mention not being able to breast feed the babies. That's such a bonding time and I'll never have it." She took a drink and noticed Chris just watching her.

"I'm sorry. I had no intention of unloading all of that on you."

"You'll never know how glad I am you did. To be honest I was a little freaked out by tonight. I wasn't sure where we were with each other, afraid it would be awkward. Now I know we're still us."

"We'll always be us. Just without the sex."

"The amazing sex."

"The amazing sex."

They laughed and ate until they were stuffed then went to the living room to watch a Downton Abbey marathon Chris had TiVo'd.

She passed out half way through the second hour, Chris let her sleep and grabbed her phone.

To Darren: I'm guessing she was gonna call you to say goodnight. She passed out watching Downton. No stamina these days.

Darren: Thanks for the heads up. How's things?

To Darren: Hectic but pretty great. Congrats on the wedding plans. And the double trouble.

Darren: Thanks man. You are coming right?

To Darren: Can't let you get married without your boyfriend there.

Darren: We could post some pictures that would freak the fandom out from this wedding.

To Darren: Don't feed the piranhas

Darren: You couldn't have just said bears?

To Darren: I'm a writer (shrug)

Darren: Hey Chris?

To Darren: ?

Darren: I love you man, you know that right?

To Darren: And I'm the gay one.

Darren: Fuck you.

Darren: : )

To Darren: I'm not telling you I love you.

Darren: But you're not saying you don't

To Darren: Say goodnight Daisy.

Darren: Goodnight Daisy.

Darren: Love you

To Darren: For God's Sake!

Darren: That one was for Issey when she wakes up.

To Darren: Oh. Do it again. I'll leave it.

Darren: I love you.

Darren: And Chris.

Chris just sighed and smiled to himself. Leave it to Darren to get the last word.

In his guest he got a top sheet he'd had ready for Is in case she hadn't brought her own and brought it out to place over her. He spent a few minutes watching her sleep, somewhere inside him he felt himself let go. He could be her friend, he could be happy for her, for both of them. And he was going to spoil those babies with all the noisiest, most annoying toys he could find.


	8. Chapter 8

Issey woke to find Brian pawing gently at her face. "Okay, okay, I'll find your food little piggy."

She realized as she stretched the kinks out of her neck and back that she'd conked out on the sofa and never texted Darren. She grabbed her phone and found the exchange between the boys from the night before forcing a teary eyed smile to her face.

She texted them both that she loved their little broship and went about the business of digging through Chris' kitchen for cat food. She didn't have to look long; Brian stood in front of the correct cabinet and meowed loudly. She opened a packet of food and grabbed a spoon from the dishwasher to empty it into his bowl.

While Brian ate she checked around the kitchen for anything healthy she could nibble at. It was 6:30 AM and she wondered what time Chris was due on set. It was only 15 minutes later that he arrived in the kitchen, navy blue shorts, a light blue t-shirt and sneakers that she always loved, she had no idea why.

"Morning Princess. What're you doing up so early?" He tussled her hair as he went to the fridge.

"Ask Brian." She pointed with her spoon.

"Geez Brian, you let pregnant ladies sleep, don't you have any manners?" he turned back to Issey, "It's not a Broship."

She giggled at him, "It so is. You guys can't even hate each other when you want to."

He grabbed a banana and sat across from her. "Considering I'll probably be making out with him in a few weeks it's not wise to harbor any negative feelings."

She let her head thunk to the table. "Don't remind me."

Chris popped his eyebrows. "Don't like me macking on your man?"

"Don't say 'macking' you can't pull it off."

Chris just huffed at this.

"It's not that I don't like it, believe me, I could watch you two go at it for hours. I'm just not sure I'm ready for the workload."

"Ryan will take it easy on you. You're his new pet."

"Great."

"Did you want to come to the set with me today?"

She perked up. "I really do, you sure I won't be in the way?"

"Not at all, might put you to work though."

"I'd love to help! Plus I get to meet the new fella."

"Please…"

"I'll be discreet. I'm going to take my own car though, Dare and I have some shopping to do this afternoon. This house has a long way to go before it's ready for a wedding."

She followed Chris to the set, for this day it was a high school in the middle of nowhere California.

Brian, the director of the movie, not the worlds fattest cat, was on set already taking great care to get the lighting in the room exactly correct for the first scene.

Issey, never one to hold her tongue heard what he was trying to do and jumped in right away with a fast fix. "It's not long term and its not pretty but it will get through a couple of takes."

They hadn't even been introduced yet and Brian was hugging her. "Are you an angel sent to me by the low budget movie gods?"

"Angel isn't quite the word I'd use." Chris dead panned before introducing them.

Issey and Brian, or as Issey referred to him, "Brian the Biped" became fast friends, discussing the genius of John Hughes and the mistakes of modern day teen flicks while Chris got into hair and minimal make up.

The remainder of the younger cast floated in and BtB made introductions. Everyone was relaxed and friendly, clearly happy to be part of the film.

When Rob came in Chris looked nervously in Issey's direction and she gave him a devious grin.

After introductions were made she patted Rob on the arm, "I hear you're getting the writing hermit out of his cave. You're a better man than I."

"Wasn't easy, believe me, he needs prodding."

Issey choked down the double entendre desperate to escape her lips and settled for, "Well keep up the good work, we don't need another Salinger on our hands."

Chris' shoulders visibly relaxed when she concluded their exchange there and went to help Brian move seats around a classroom.

At 10am she had pains in her stomach from laughing at Rebel's ad libs. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she stepped outside to answer Darren's call .

"Good morning love, rise and shine, we have wedding shopping to do!" Was his hello.

"Dream on sleepyhead. I've been up since 6. I'm out on the set of Struck."

"Oh. I thought you sent the text and went back to bed. So are you just gonna hang there for the day?"

"Course not. I brought my own car so I could meet you when you're ready."

"Cool. I'm going to shower and call my parents to let them know about the wedding, where do you want to meet?"

Up to you, we need to get house stuff done fast. The downstairs rec room is barren, I'd like to get a long table for the front hall and dressers, night stands and pretty much everything for the guest bedrooms."

"Meet me at Furniture Love in Wilshire Center in an hour and a half."

"See you then love."

She waited until Chris had a second then let him know she's see him at home later. She and Brian the Biped exchanged numbers and she was off.

While driving Issey called home. Her mother was concerned about the quick wedding date but thrilled about another set of twins in the family. Her father was as always supportive and extremely excited to spoil his new grandchildren.

She called her sister and first let her know about how quick the wedding was coming up, concerned that they might not be able to get time away or get the kids out there soon enough.

"Are you kidding me I'd move mountains to be at your wedding I can't wait." Sophie was bouncing in place you could tell just by the sound of her voice.

"One more thing. You're not going to be the only one with twins anymore."

"You're kidding it's twins! I can't wait to see you handling two babies at once let alone one."

"I'm excited but I'm scared. I'm not sure I can do this."

"Oh sis, you can do anything. I'll be there to help no matter what you need."

"You may regret that promise."

"I can't believe how fast everything is changing for you. You're going to love being a Mom and a wife."

"It's strange but I think you're more right than you know."

"He's the right guy. The right guy changes everything."

"Truer words have never been said Soph. We're disgusting together."

"My sister the romantic, didn't see that coming."

"It's worse than you know. I'm obsessed with him. Did you ever just want to stare at your husbands hands for hours on end? Is that even remotely normal?"

"His hands? No. But when we first got together I had an unhealthy relationship with his ears. I could t stop touching them. Funny, I haven't thought about that in years."

"I can't imagine it ever going away. Sometimes I can't sleep if there's any light in the room because all I want to do is look at his eyelashes."

"You could never sleep with light in the room. You used to tape the shades to the window. It was like waking up in a morgue every day."

"Morgues have bright lights."

"Smart ass living with a vampire then. Now I feel that way about my kids, just wait, there's nothing like watching them sleep. Sometimes it's too much, you just want to eat them up."

"I'm a vampire and my sister is a cannibal, what the hell are the kids gonna be?"

"Just like their obnoxiously good looking father If you're lucky."

Issey smiled at this. "He is isn't he?"

"Yeah, yeah, but he's better than that, he's a good man. That's what sticks."

"Yours too."

"I give him shit but I'd be lost without him. I'm so happy for you Isabelle."

"Thanks Soph. Listen the wedding is a surprise so keep it under you hat. Don't tell the kids, just tell them they're coming to se the new house. Fuck! I almost forgot, you'll be my mid of honor right?"

"Matron, I'm married, and yes, I'd be honored." She waited a beat, "does this mean I can get sloppy drink at the reception and make out with the best man in the coat room?"

"It's a closet and if your husband and his girlfriend don't mind then I say go for it."

"Ugh, I wish, I hear screaming and possible hair pulling, I have to go murder my offspring. Love you."

"You too."

When she arrived at the parking lot Darren was already there. He hopped out of his car and hustled to open her door. Before she could comment on what a gentleman he was he had her pinned to the seat with a kiss and his hand half way up her skirt.

"Making out I'm cars, this is our thing now?" She laughed.

He shrugged, "Missed you."

She didn't bother pointing out that it had been less than 24 hours, the truth was she'd missed him too.

She found furniture she liked for the guest bedrooms quickly enough and some light fixtures for the hall upstairs. She found Darren in one store reverently running his fingertips over what looked like an old wooden treasure chest.

"What do you think?"

"It's kinda cool. We could put it downstairs somewhere."

"No, for our room."

She scrutinized it. "Doesn't really go with the rest of the room..."

"Don't care."

"I mean, if you love it that much I'm okay with it. What are you going to use it for?"

"Treasure chest."

"You have some gold doubloons somewhere marked with an x?"

"Yup, I keep them in my wooden leg but they're starting to jingle when I walk." He opened it and stared into the empty space inside. "I want to keep our little treasures in it. Stuff that means something to us ."

She wrapped her arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. "Our kids are going to own you you big softie. Lets buy it."

It was a wildly successful day. They found more than they'd expected and despite having most of the larger stuff set up for delivery both of their cars were packed full.

They went to the house to drop the stuff off, Issey arriving first because Darren stopped to pick up food.

The workmen had left for the day so she went to see how far they'd gotten. To her amazement they were nearly finished. She had Siri put a reminder in her phone to call the contractor in the morning and find out how soon she could schedule the aquarium people to load in the fish.

She set the new dishes at the table that had arrived that day and been placed exactly as she'd asked.

Darren kicked at the door and when she tugged it open he was balancing two pasta dinners, two salads, a gallon of milk and a carton with the lamp for the kids bedroom.

Issey just shook her head and took the food from him. He had no medium setting, he always did things at 110.

Finally settled at the table and tucked into delicious Alfredo Darren cleared his throat. "Did you talk to your family?"

"I did. Everyone is coming. We have to talk about who's going to stay here. What about you? You talk to everyone?"

"Chuck is down. Mom and Pop not so much."

She stopped chewing and stared at him.

"Well, Babe, they haven't even met you. Mom's a little hurt that I expect her to meet you for the first time at the wedding."

"I guess I can understand that but Hon, do you really want to postpone?"

"No. Dad suggested another solution. I've got to be there for the show next week so he invited us to come up now, stay with them."

"First meeting and I'm staying with them? That's intense."

"They're really pretty laid back, they just don't want to be the only people at their son's wedding who haven't met the bride. I don't think that's unreasonable."

"Obviously not, but can't we get a hotel room or something so they don't get too big a dose of me right up front?"

"No Mama Bear, I think it's best you jump right in the deep end. Besides they'll love you , Chuck's the family cynic and you got by him no problem."

"Did you tell them about the twins?"

"They're thrilled, over the moon."

"When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Oh God, we still have house stuff to do, I still have to find a wedding dress, we don't have a caterer, Darren, we're making good progress but there is still so much to do and we haven't even touched the guest house."

"We can do our shopping from San Francisco."

"Sure but someone has to be here when everything is delivered. Someone has to hang the mirrors and make the beds and put the linens and towels in the closets, these things don't happen by magic."

"Joey said he'd camp out at the house during the day for deliveries and I'm sure he'd be happy to put stuff where you want it. If he's going to stay in the guest house anyway maybe this is a good time to let him move his stuff into his room. "

She couldn't argue with his logic. "Ok. I don't want him making the beds and all of that stuff, that's outs. Making the house a home is something we should do together. I'll try to move my doc appointment up a few days so we can come back sooner."

"Don't worry, it'll all come together just fine." He leaned over and kissed her leaving a trace if sauce on her cheek.


	9. Chapter 9

After they had put away their new purchases, including one snow cone maker, Darren tried to talk Issey into spending the night at their house but she declined. She'd promised Chris a week and was now leaving for San Francisco the next day; she should at least stay with him one more night.

It wasn't easy leaving Darren, intellectually she knew she'd see him in the morning, that they'd spend the next week together and really, the rest of their lives together but after so much time apart she felt like they were always on their way to something or someone else. When they went to their cars and kissed goodbye she held on tight, digging her fingertips into his back, breathing him in.

"Let's just stay." He whispered hotly in her ear.

She wanted to, so badly she wanted to but she'd fallen asleep on Chris the night before and was determined to stay up and enjoy an evening together tonight. She smiled up at Darren, "You know what I hate?"

He raised his eyebrows In answer.

Scratching her nails through his growing beard she sighed, "I'm not going to get to marry scruffy Darren, I'm gonna have to marry Blaine."

Laughing he brushed his scruff against her cheek, "We won't be shooting until the Monday after the wedding, I don't have to shave for rehearsal."

"Thank God. I'm not looking forward to losing these curls either, for the record." She pulled one thought her fingers.

"They never completely go away. They just get shorter. Are you sure you want to go back to Chris's?"

"I am. "

They parted ways but just a few minutes after she could no longer see him in the rear view mirror she called him.

"Hey, does this mean I get to see your room from high school?"

"More or less, yeah."

"Will they let us sleep in the same bed?"

"Can't imagine them having an issue with it, I mean, that particular horse is out of the barn."

"So I get to fuck you in the bed you slept in in high school?"

"If you're lucky."

"Exactly how many poor innocent high school girls lost their cherries in that bed?"

"Exactly none."

"I don't buy it."

"I'm not saying I've never had sex in the bed, I'm not even saying I didn't get lucky in high school, I'm saying I never deflowered any young virgins in my high school bedroom…my car possibly, but my bedroom, no."

"I want to know what the moves were like in high school."

"You're insane."

"I'm completely serious. I want to look at pictures and videos of you in high school and then when we go to bed tomorrow night I want you to pretend it's high school and I'm some girl from school you got up in your room to listen to the new…what, N'Sync album?"

"I'm so in love with you it hurts."

"Did that line really work?"

"I guess we'll find out tomorrow night."

Letting herself into Chris's place she had to shoo Brian the quadruped back in the door. He was extremely vocal with his disappointment that it was her coming in and not Chris.

"You miss your roommate buddy?" she asked as she scratched him under the chin. "Me too. You get to see him more than I do, not that that's saying much."

Less than an hour later she and Brian were curled up on the sofa eating ice cream together when Chris came home.

"Hey honey, I'm home."

"How was work?"

"Crazy, how was shopping?"

"Productive."

Chris kissed her head, then Brian's before going to get his own Ben and Jerry's from the kitchen. "I'm surprised you're already back, I thought he'd talk you into staying with him."

She tucked her feet under Chris's thigh and leaned against the arm of the couch. "He tried. I needed one more night with you though."

Chris blinked and ate a few more mouthfuls before responding. "Why?"

"What do you mean why? Why just one more night? His parents want us to come stay with them for the rest of the week and I couldn't really say no."

"Um, disappointing but understandable. No, why did you need one more night with me. I feel like there's something bad you're waiting for the right time to tell me."

"Untrue." She wiggled her toes, "I gave you all of my news last night. I just wanted a little more time with you."

He considered and ate. "You want to go out tonight? I mean I know you can't drink, but Rob asked if we want to go to this place I like in WeHo. I thought you might want to just hang out for a while, maybe dance a little if you aren't too tired."

She was exhausted. It was a long day and she'd slept on the sofa the night before, but Chris clearly wanted to go and she wanted to be supportive. "Do I have time for a disco nap?"

"You totally do. I'm going to get some writing done, I'll wake you in a few hours."

She went up to bed and fell asleep immediately but had terrible dreams about Darren's mother telling him all the reasons she forbid him from marrying her. She also had a dream that Brian the cat and Brian the producer sang a duet as a commercial for a new brand of ice cream but it was the one about Darren's mother that stuck with her when Chris woke her to get ready to go out.

Before she hit the landing she stopped, her breath caught in her throat and she felt just a little dizzy. Chris was waiting in the kitchen but she could see his reflection in the hall mirror from her place on the stairs.

Black motorcycle boots, painted on black jeans, skin tight black button front shirt open to mid chest. His hair was perfectly styled, this was a boy on the hunt and she was instantly overcome with sadness that she would never again be his prey.

It had nothing to do with Darren, he was her soulmate, the other half of her, this was much more carnal. She watched as he preened a little in the glass of the sliding door and remembered what it was like to undress him, to slide her hands along his endless waist, feeling the goose flesh rise at her touch.

Shaking the feeling away as best she could Issey joined him in the kitchen. "Someone's looking to get lucky tonight."

"I'm already lucky, I'm heading out with you." He said it but he was distracted grabbing keys, gum, and his phone.

"We'll you look like walking sex so I'm guessing you're leaving with me but you're hoping to go home with a more interesting offer."

He leaned in close to her, so close it ran a shiver down her spine. "I don't fuck strangers, I just like to know I could. You're still the only one." He was close enough that each word was warm air on her neck but before her knees could buckle he walked to the door. "Ready?"

"I unleashed a monster, you're dangerous."

"I'm glad you think so. C'mon."

In his garage he headed for his car but then looked over at the bike. "You trust me?

"With what?" She was still unsteady from the crackling sexual tension between them.

"Just your life. Let's take the bike."

Did pregnant women ride on the backs of motorcycles? The internal debate took less than the blink of an eye. "Let's do it."

Chris handled the bike well, getting them smoothly out to the highway. Until then she had managed to hang on to his shoulders but once they picked up speed she had no choice but to lay against his back and wrap her arms around him. She felt his abs contract as her fingers settled in and smiled to herself that she was still able to get some reaction out of him.

Pulling up at Abbey it looked more like a Mexican restaurant than a gay bar, unless you counted the music pouring out. Issey stepped off the bike first, grabbing Chris's arm for support. Her legs were a little wobbly, it had been awhile since she'd been on a motorcycle and she wasn't all that steady lately to begin with.

Chris took her hand and guided her inside where they found Rob at a gigantic black banquette by the dance floor. He was surrounded by a number of people laughing loudly. She was happy to see Brian the Biped among them. They joined the crowd, ordered drinks, vodka for Chris, cranberry juice and sprite for Issey. One of the girls at the table gave her a one armed hug, "You must be our little sunshine's DD."

She smirked, "Probably by the end of the night, but I'm actually the resident breeder." She patted her belly.

Everyone coo'd and ooh'd over her impending motherhood. She liked them all immediately; they were sweet, funny, sarcastic and welcoming. She knew now why Chris was happy to come spend his nights here. Stories were traded, drinks were had, folks danced and ordered unhealthy amounts of fantastic food. She went to the ladies room and when she returned everyone was on the dance floor save for Rob.

"Not in a dancing mood?"

"Watching the drinks. It's a good place but you never know everyone so someone always table sits, we take turns."

"Smart. You can join them if you like, I'll keep watch."

"Its okay, I'm happy here with you." He smiled warmly and she wondered whether he was actually gay or just happened to know a lot of gay people. It didn't matter of course, but it could affect Chris and his blossoming crush.

"So which one of these fantastic people is yours?" she figured she'd probe just a bit.

"None. I'm single and loving it. You aren't though, that's quite a rock on your hand. Baby daddy?"

She nodded, smiling "Baby daddy."

"Lucky guy."

"Lucky me. He's my world."

"Bet Chris doesn't like it." Rob swirled the ice in his drink.

"What on earth would make you say that?"

"Way he looks at you. Kid's supposed to like boys but he can't keep his eyes off of you."

"He likes boys' fine, it's just that we're close and haven't seen each other for a while. Plus I've had some health issues lately and he's pretty protective."

Rob dipped his chin, "Sorry to hear that, about your health issues. He's a good friend to have."

"He is. He'll make someone a great boyfriend too."

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"He's sexy as shit but his brain never shuts off. He can't just chill."

"I've noticed looks like someone's making a move though." A handsome young guy in a black wife beater and jeans that could not be good for his junk was grinding against Chris. Chris was not in a hurry to move away.

Brian joined them fanning himself, "I'm not the girl I used to be. Who are we talking about?"

"Our little star."

"Ah yes, he's on point tonight isn't he?"

Rob downed his drink and headed to the bar.

"What's his deal?" Issey asked.

"Rob? He's a good guy."

"Naturally, do you think he likes Chris?"

"Everybody likes Chris." Brian wiped his face with his scarf.

"You know what I meant."

"I meant what you meant. I think everyone develops a crush on him if they spend enough time with him."

He was dancing with another guy, a drink in his hand. Issey watched him, she'd seen him dance plenty, and she'd touched and memorized every inch of him. Tonight he was different though, it was like a shell had been broken and he was 100% himself.

It was late, she didn't know when she started seeing 2am as late but it was and she was fading. The place was still pretty hopping but they'd slowed the music down and Chris was standing at the edge of the booth with his hand out. "You can't come out with me and not dance with me at least once."

"Chris I'm falling asleep. There's a line of boys waiting to scoop you up, go make their nights."

"Don't be that girl. C'mon."

"Oh give in already, you know he's irresistible." Brian quipped.

She stretched and rolled her neck but gave in. He pulled her close and she melted against him, the feeling deliciously familiar.

"You're tense. I'll have to give you a massage when we get home." He thumbed the small of her back.

She nuzzled in close and let him hold her; let him control the movement of the dance. She was just so tired and it felt so good to have someone else hold her up. "That sounds really good but I'm not sure I'll stay awake long enough."

He nosed against her ear and let his lips brush her cheek, "I remember how to keep you up." He pressed against her, sliding his fingers along her hips rolling together in a way that brought back a flood of steamy memories. It was heady and she felt drunk with exhaustion, her head spun, it would be so easy to give in and pretend, just for a few minutes that he was still hers but when he tried to kiss her neck it was like a bucket of ice water to her face.

"I can't, Chris, let go." She pushed him away and immediately there was a boy to take her place. He was drunk and allowed himself to be pulled into a new embrace as she made her way outside.

She called Darren and a woman's voice answered. "Hello? Um…hey, whose phone is this? Hello, Darren's phone."

"Hi, is Darren…can I talk to him?"

"I'll see if he's available, who's calling please?" the girl giggled a little at her assistant skills.

"His fiancé."

She didn't like the sound of her own voice. She sounded like a jealous girlfriend, which she wasn't. Mostly.

"Hold please."

Wherever he was the background noise was louder than it was at Abbey and that was saying a lot.

"Hello?" Darren sounded confused and far away.

"Where are you?"

"Troubadour. Couple of guys I know were playing asked me to come sit in for a set."

"Where? I can barely hear you, can you go somewhere less noisy?"

"TROUBADOUR!" He shouted over the noise. "I'm doing a SHOW."

"Who answered your phone?"

"What?"

"Your phone, who was that girl?"

"You're home?"

"Jesus Darren, go somewhere quiet!"

"I can't hear you."

"Forget it."

"What?"

She disconnected and texted him. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. Tell your answering service she did a fine job."

He didn't respond right away so she went back inside to find Chris. "Can we go?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just tired, can we go?"

"Yeah, sure. Let me say goodbye."

He made the rounds while she waved from the door. He staggered a little when he came to meet her.

"Keys."

"What?"

"Don't you start. Bike keys you've been drinking for hours."

"I'm fine."

"You're not and you aren't driving. Keys."

He placed them in her hand letting his fingertips caress her wrist as he did. "I'm only saying yes because you're beautiful."

Rolling her eyes she mounted the bike and waited for him to adjust behind her before revving the engine and peeling out. She was upset for no reason and that made her even angrier. It had been a long time since she'd hopped on a bike to clear her head but she remembered now why she loved to ride. The roar of the wind and the engine drowned her thoughts and it was easy to go a little too fast, get a little too reckless.

They were a block away from home when Chris loosened his grip and instead moved his hand to her thigh where her skirt had blown up and away. She gunned the engine in response and lost control of the bike sending it and them onto the pavement.


	10. Chapter 10

Issey was aware of two things, first a searing hot pain in her arms and legs and second Chris, his voice higher than ever as he screamed the address of the crash into his cell phone.

"She's pregnant with twins, oh God please just get someone here fast...yes she's breathing, wait, I think she conscious...Issey! Issey you okay?"

"Ow." She tried to sit up but bracing her hand on the pavement was like putting it through glass.

"Stay still, don't try to move, an ambulance is on its way." He had taken the phone from his ear and was kneeling next to her. His jeans were torn and there was blood on his lip.

"Chris are you okay? I'm so sorry, I was stupid to be so reckless." She tried again to sit up but things went slightly dark so she laid back.

"I'm fine, are you...do you think everything is alright?"

She didn't know. Her head throbbed her hands and legs were bloodied and raw but she had no unusual pain in her abdomen. "I think they're ok, I can't really tell. Oh God Chris what if..."but the end of the sentence was drowned in the wail of the ambulance siren.

The emts asked her a few questions then began working on getting her onto a backboard despite her insistence that she could walk if they'd just help her up. Once on the board they slid her onto a gurney and bumped her into the back of the ambulance.

The police had arrived while she was being strapped onto the board and were talking to Chris. She couldn't hear what they were saying and kept telling the emts that Chris was bleeding and needed to go with them.

When they pulled away from the curb the female tech whose name tag said Rose told her the police would bring Chris to the hospital. She said they'd checked him over and he had some deep scratches the would require debriding but he was not 'emergent'.

"And I am?" Issey's stomach flipped with horror. Did they know something she didn't?

"It's policy if you're pregnant and don't say you refuse to go. The guy who called said its twins is that right?"

"Yes, correct."

The tech started a line, it took three tries with the bumping and turning of the ambulance.

At the hospital things were a blur, she didn't remember being taken from the ambulance but did recall busting through the double doors from the heat of the California summer to the icy cold halls of the emergency room.

Rose gave someone (nurse, doctor, intern, it was impossible to tell anymore) a rundown of stats that Issey knew referred to her but had no idea what they meant.

She was placed into a curtained off area and felt like part of the ugly orange and blue furniture as everyone bustled around her.

"Hi, I'm Krista, I'll be your nurse today. So, can you tell me what happened?"

Krista looked about 27, her long dark curls held away from her face by a pencil expertly twisted on top of her head. She asked the question on auto pilot but her face was open and kind

"I'm an idiot. Went out with a friend, he had too much to drink so I drove home, on a motorcycle. I was kinda pissed off about stuff that happened earlier and was driving too fast and lost control of the bike."

Krista nodded, she'd heard it all before. "Where's the pain?"

Issey told her the backboard hurt more than anything but her back had been okay before they put her on the thing. She also called out her head and the scratches that were obvious.

"Do you feel like anything is broken?"

"No, just knocked around"

Agreeing the backboard was unnecessary Krista removed it and Issey immediately relaxed into the bed, suddenly so tired she couldn't keep her eyes open.

"No sleep yet Hon, we have some tests to run first."

As if on cue the phlebotomist came in carrying his tool box. He checked the bracelet they'd placed on her wrist without her noticing.

"Hi there , vampire department, I'm gonna just borrow some of your blood okay?"

"Sure, why not."

He was good and got the draw first try. Issey's eyes drooped while he took vial after vial.

She wanted to call Darren, wanted to ask where Chris was but either the people in the room were too busy asking the same questions over and over or were non existent.

When the doctor finally came in to introduce himself she asked him where her phone was and if her friend had arrived. He didn't know and clearly could not have been less interested. This was a man with people literally dying for his attention in room after room and chit chat was not on the agenda.

What happened? Where does it hurt? Rate the pain 1-10 1 being almost no pain 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. How far into your pregnancy are you? Do you take any medications regularly? Have you been drinking today?

Her answers got shorted every time and she began to wonder if that's why everyone asked a billion times, so that by the time the doc showed up you'd be we'll rehearsed and take up less of his precious time.

When he went to remove the gown the nurse had let her put on in privacy he grunted. "Double Mastectomy, fairly recent, you might have mentioned that."

"No one asked." She was feeling a little surly now and wasn't about to be chastised for this.

He only raised his eyebrows in response, too old hat at this to be drawn into battle. "No stretchers?"

"Can't have reconstruction until after the kids are born. No one has said much about the babies, are they okay?"

"We'll do an ultrasound but your stats are all good and you've had no cramping correct?"

"Yes"

"We'll check them next. Is there someone you can call?" He'd softened and that made it worse, he wouldn't give an opinion the twins health, if they'd brought her here because she was pregnant shouldn't that have been the first thing they checked? She felt the panic rise in her throat.

"My fiancé, please, I asked for my phone."

The doctor took a white bag from the chair in the corner and handed it to her, if you had it when you came in its in there, if not you can ask the nurse to call. I'll be back after your ultrasound."

Her phone, shoes and clothes were I the bag with her wallet and her engagement ring. She had no memory if her ring being removed, or her shoes for that matter.

She put her ring back on and called Darren.

"Babe? At e you okay? I'm on my way!"

"How did you know?"

"Chris called me, I'm about 10 minutes away. Tell me you're okay."

"I'm okay, I think I am, just bumped around. "

"What about the kids?"

"No one will say but I'm having an ultrasound soon."

"I'll be there as quick as I can. I love you."

"You too."

They came to take her down to ultrasound and she begged them to wait. She didn't want to do this without Darren regardless of the results. She was told there was another person waiting and if she wanted they could take him first but if her babies were in trouble waiting cod be a mistake.

What could she do? She agreed to go but asked that if he arrived while she was gone they bring him to her. Krista promised and so she was wheeled to another portion of the hospital through winding hallways she could never have navigated back on her own.  
Her mind popped up with crazy thoughts like she should have brought breadcrumbs in the event this were some sort of asylum and she needed to make an escape. Too tired and too many strange movies.

The ultrasound tech was a very friendly man of roughly 65. His hair was wholly grey And his glasses a little thicker than you might expect for someone who uses his eyes for a living.

"Hey Dee Ho little lady come on in! Do you need some help up onto table here?" He didn't wait for a response just lifted her with shocking ease.

"Hear you got yourself into a little dust up with the pavement huh?"

"Thats about the size of it, yeah." She said sheepishly.

"Happens to the best of us, I've been riding 53 years, still take the occasional spill." He kept the conversation light and jovial while he worked getting both her and his machine ready for the task at hand. She got the feeling he could be moving faster if he wanted to.

"Scars from the double M are looking good these babies'll be happy their Mama took care of things so she could be around for em.  
My wife had both her girls taken 22 years ago when the kids were only knee high and thank God she did cause now she's healthier n me and strong as an ox."

"Really? That's very encouraging. Sometimes I'm afraid to hope for much time with them."

"Never be afraid of hope, losing hope is about the worst thing that can happen to a person. Plan for the worst, hope for the best those are the words I live by. Being worried doesn't help anything and even hurts your health. I don't know if you're religious at all and I'm no preacher but I find if I can do what I can and trust God to handle the rest things work out just fine. Course it helps if you try to be a good person."

He looked at his watch. "You got your phone?"

She didn't, they wouldn't let her bring it.

He handed her his, "Call your fella, I can't stall much longer Hon."

She grinned at him and dialed Darren again."

"I have no idea where I am, but I'm in the hospital and heading for you. Are you ok? Are they done?"

"We're waiting for you -" a knock at the door announced his presence. Krista had brought him down herself.

He hugged and kissed her briefly then let Hank, as he'd introduced himself to Darren, get to work.

Three sets of eyes watched the screen hard enough to burn holes in it.

"Baby one, right here...moving, heartbeat strong, seems good."

Darren squeezed Issey's hand as Hank looked for vitals on baby 2. It took longer this time and they both looked ready to lose it when Hank said"Ha! Think this is my first rodeo little bugger? I see you there! Number 2 is a scamp and doing A-ok."

"Thank God!" Darren whispered while kissing her temple,"

Issey just cried tears of relief.

"Would you like to know what you've got here?" Hank asked.

They looked at each other with massive smiles, "we were supposed to find out next week, can you tell?"

Hank dug around a bit, "here we go, I'd say baby 1 is a strong contender to be a girl. Lets see if we can't figure out our hider."

Again he pushed and baby one, their daughter(!) moved just enough.

"Yup, there you are boy, hiding behind your sister huh shy one?"

Issey broke out in gooseflesh and Darren looked ready to climb out of his skin. "We have both!"

"Well now I'm sure about the boy but sometimes the view is tough, baby one certainly appears to be a girl but I'd check again next week to be sure."

They thanked Hank over and over for his help and were taken back to the ER where strange girl waited in the chair next to her bed.

She turned out to be Darren's ride which set Issey's teeth on edge but she didn't let on. Darren let the girl know things were fine, she offered to stay and get them home but he told her they'd be okay.

Before she could ask questions Chris came in wearing a hospital gown he was clutching desperately from behind. "What did they say? Are they okay?"

"They're perfect!" Issey gushed.

"Thank God." Darren added .

The tension hung between them for a moment before Issey added, "You okay?"

"Little road rash, I was too drunk to tense up so nothing's broken. They said you might have a concussion."

"Nope, they cleared me, I think they did anyway, now I'm just waiting to get out."

"Me too, I called Ashey to bring us clothes."

"Oh, good idea."

Chris waited a minute but the silence was too much so he shrugged and said he'd better get back to his area.

Krista came in flipping papers,"Good news, you're free to go as soon as I clean up some of your cuts. I'm so glad the babies are okay!"

She did her best to wash out the cuts without causing too much pain and then applied anesthetic cream before wrapping them with breathable gauze.

"Stop on your way home and get some antibacterial cream, I'd get the one with pain relief if I were you, and some gauze." She turned her attention to Darren,"you"ll have to change the bandages a few times in the next day or so."

He nodded, all business. He was on duty as caretaker once again

"Apparently there are a few film crews out front hoping to get the story of why you're here so we're going to see if we can distract them out front when you all leave out the ambulance bay once you're ready to go."

"Press. Fan fucking tactic. "  
Darren took out his phone and handed Issey hers. "Damage control, call your family let them know you're fine."

She looked at him. "Do you know what time it is? It's the middle of the night, they'd kill me."

"News flash Babe, it's 5:45 which means its almost 9 for your family."

She hasn't realized how long they'd been there.

Thankfully she got he r dad and explained in the briefest possible way that there had been an accident but she and the babies were fine. She called her sister who wanted more detail which she promised to call back with later.

Darren called his parents and got his mom, he gave her the bare bones explanation and said they'd be coming up later than expected.

Ashley arrived, bringing a massive attitude with her. She pulled no punches on the drive to Chris's house about how stupid it was to take the bike. Darren said nothing but Issey knew he was mad as hell and didn't bother trying to defend herself.  
Chris just asked Ashley to let it go.

It was decided Issey and Darren would sleep a few hours at Chris's then go to Darren's for his things before dropping her car at the rental place at the airport. He switched their flight and went to the bedroom while Issey said goodnight to Chris.

"I'm really sorry." Issey began.

"My fault. It was stupid to take the bike and we both know its my fault we crashed. I'm sorry for how I acted tonight. I really thought I could be cool with this whole being friends thing but I think it's going to take more time."

"For me too. Will you still come to the wedding?"

"I'll be there, but maybe we shouldn't be alone for awhile until we're more used to not being...together."

She had to agree, they cautiously hugged goodnight.

Darren was sitting on the edge of the bed watching the early news when she came in.

"They're calling you The Motorcycle Mama."  
His voice was flat.

"You're pissed'

She laid on the bed and pushed at him with her toes. "Shut that off and come fight with me. Lets get it over with."

He clicked the TV off and tugged his jeans down until he could kick them onto the floor. "Let's just get some sleep huh?"

He pulled her into him and told he was glad she was okay.

"I don't want to go to sleep with you mad."

"We'll talk tomorrow, you need to rest."

She wanted to argue but her eyes were already closing.


	11. Chapter 11

Searing pain on her left side was Issey's wake up call.

She tried to get out of bed quietly so Darren could remain asleep. He was snoring, arm over his eyes. It was more work than she bargained for, trying to roll gently away.

"OW!" She screamed it, unable to stop herself.

Darren sat up abruptly, shaking his head in confusion at his surroundings. "Hey! Babe? You ok?"

"I'm sorry, Dare, I tried to let you sleep but I put my hand down to push off the bed it killed."

"You should have woken me. Wait a minute." He got up and made his way to her side, helping her up.

In the bathroom he tried to help her get cleaned up but she shoo'd him out. "I need to pee."

"You can pee in front of me at this point."

"I guess so." She sighed.

When he'd changed her bandages and helped her into loose fitting clothes she rested on the bed while he packed the few things she'd unpacked during her brief stay. Neither said much.

Chris was gone to the set when they left. He'd left a note for them to help themselves to anything in the fridge and for Issey to call him later to let him know how she was feeling.

He also suggested they not look at Twitter for awhile.

Darren picked up her car keys with a pointed look. She let him, things were coming to a head, there was no point poking Papa Bear.

As he slid the car from the driveway Darren blew out a breath he'd been holding a long time.

"What the fuck were you thinking taking that god damned bike? He hasn't had his license that long. Has he ever even had anybody on the back of that thing before last night?" His knuckles were white on the wheel, a red flush climbing his ears.

"HE didn't dump the bike I dumped the bike."

"And thank God for that, you know what you're doing. Imagine if it had been him driving. He doesn't have the skills to control the thing in an accident."

"He's a good and careful driver. The weather was nice. I haven't been on a bike in awhile. I missed it."

"He makes you reckless."

"He makes me nothing. You take as many chances as anyone I know."

"It's different and you know it. Tell me something, what was the plan for last night?"

"Plan? Chris's friend Rob asked us out to a club in WeHo. Chris seemed to really want to go and I figured him getting out was a good thing so I agreed to go."

"After getting up early to be on his set then shopping all day with me. I thought you were tired all the time. Y know what? Whatever, that's not even what kills me. You head out to this club and decide to take the motorcycle. Do you think about the fact that Chris is probably going to drink? I mean, I'm assuming you didn't drink."

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

"So you either planned to let Chris drink then drive you home or the mother of my children, who just had surgery which limits her range of motion in her arms dramatically and made her motor control skills so wonky that she told me she's afraid she won't be able to diaper her own babies decided she could handle a bike with handlebars she can barely reach out to with a drunk idiot on the back. So please tell me, what. Was. The. Plan?"

She truly had no words. He was right of course. Her chest and arms were in agony today and not just from the accident, the stretch to reach the handlebars the night before was too much.

"It was uncomfortable I'll admit that but it felt good to feel in control."

"Some control."

"You want to know why I dumped that bike? It wasn't the pain in my arms or the drunk idiot behind me. I was driving fast to feel sexy and alive like I did before I became nothing more than a skin bag of medical issues. I wanted the rush of the wind to drown out the voice of some young, giggling, probably blond chick with, I'm sure, great tits answering your phone and you not being interested in what I was calling about. "

"So this is my fault because I went to play a set with some friends while you're having sleep overs with your ex boyfriend might I add. I put my phone down backstage, she's Phil's girlfriend, she thought she was helping."

"If you had a problem with my staying with Chris you should have said something. The passive aggressive thing is bullshit. Also, I noticed we don't have to go to the club to get your car, did the walking rack that brought you to the hospital last night escort you to the club too?"

"I knew I'd be drinking so I took a cab over, she was the same one that answered the phone and her name is Dina. She's the bands designated driver on gig nights. "

"How nice for her."

"I think you should talk to someone."

"I thought I was."

"A therapist, a professional. I think you need to talk to someone about how you feel about the changes in your body, maybe about becoming a mother, I don't know."

"I go out one night, take a spill on a bike and now I'm crazy and hate my kids?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I just said . No, jerk, I'm just saying this is a lot of change and you're kind of obsessed with other people's boobs and called the kids a medical problem. Maybe just maybe it would help to speak to someone to help you see that you're still beautiful, that no chick with a great rack will ever turn my head because I love you. All of it."

She went silent and he switched in the radio. At his place she waited in the car while he showered and packed quickly. When he returned she was lying with the seat down, eyes closed.

Pulling into the roadway for their gate Darren touched her leg. "Time to wake up, we're here."

He tried to take the bags but she grabbed hers before her could get it. Shouldering the carry on was excruciating but there was no way she was letting him carry anything for her.

She made her way to the gate while he went to return the car but ran into a snarl of paparazzi.

Some asked how she was feeling, others asked if she had been drinking when she crashed the bike. Mostly they were just noise and flashing lights. The bag she was dragging was starting to hurt her back and the carry on felt like it was separating her shoulder.

Darren slid smoothly up beside her taking her carry on from her with ease and reaching for the handle of her suitcase on wheels. A moment passed between them, photographers clicking away around them. His fingers brushed hers and she released her grip and allowed him to take over the load.

The questions were now hurled at Darren, "Did you know she was with Chris last night before the accident?"

"Are you guys breaking up again?"

More of the same. Darren kept moving but addressed them in a perky voice, "Hey guys! We're really grateful that Issey and the baby are fine, fortunately she's a skilled driver and was able to avoid disaster. Chris is doing well too, we just left his place and he felt good enough to work today. Thanks for all of your concern."

Boarding was already started when they got to their gate. Darren stood aside and let Issey have the window seat.

"Do you want anything from the carry on before I put it in the overhead?"

"Advil."

He dug in her bag and handed her the bottle. "You want your book?"

"No, thanks, if my head will stop pounding I'm going to try to sleep."

"It's less than an hour, sleeping will make your headache worse you should drink some water and eat something. You can lie down at my parents house."

"I'm sure I'm going to make a great impression."

He let this one go. He was clearly still angry but not willing to make a scene on the plane.

They each put on headphones, she settled quickly on a Real Housewives of New Jersey. Darren flipped restlessly from one image to the next, she had the feeling he wasn't seeing anything on the screen. At one point she noticed TMZ show up and silently thanked God when he moved right past it. The last thing she needed was fuel on his fire.

His father picked them up at baggage. It was nice to see the enormous loving hug the two shared. Darren introduced her, all smiles and pride and she received the same hug he did. "Just call me Dad, if you're comfortable with that." He said as he grabbed her bag from the carousel.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I'm kind of a mess. I don't usually look like I've been in a fist fight with the road."

"I'd expect nothing less from a girl that's right for Darren." He side eyed his son, it was clear Darren's cheerful attitude was not masking his displeasure and his father was coming down decidedly on her team. "He's always been one to try anything, do anything, you could never keep him still for a second. I'd hate to see him settle down with someone who'd end up boring him. I've got a mind you can keep him on his toes."

"At the very least." Darren agreed and took her hand to walk to the car.

"Where's Mom?" Darren asked from the back seat. He looked like a kid back there, leaning up for his father's attention.

"At the stove, where else? She's sure Isabelle here needs a good nap and a good meal after her ordeal last night. And of course you look thin, boy. I think you could gain 200 pounds and your mother would tell you you needed proper feeding."

"He's actually been making sure I eat really well, he's a pretty good cook himself." Issey chimed in.

His dad turned and winked at her, "Learned everything he knows from his old man. Don't let his mother fool you. She likes to fuss in that kitchen but everyone knows I'm the best cook."

"Mom's no slouch but Dad really does make magic in the kitchen."

"You'll have to teach me your tricks, I have exactly no cooking skills."

"That can't be true, I always said my boys would fall in love with his stomach first, heart second and eyes last. I can see how he might have flipped that around for you though."

"That's sweet but I really could use a lesson or two if you wouldn't mind. Plus Darren and I have been shopping for the house and I'm thoroughly lost about what kitchen stuff we should buy."

"Darren should know those things." He looked at his son in the rear view mirror.

"He was busy making a play for a snow cone maker."

His dad laughed, "he always got them from the ice cream truck at Little League games."

"Only because Chuck always got the last Ninja Turtle Ice Cream" Darren sulked.

Issey had a vision on little Darren in his uniform, waiting in line with his big brother and so excited for his shot at the ice cream ninja on a stick only to be bested by Chuck. She had to laugh.

"Chuck was smart though, he'd always act like he ordered the wrong thing and start talking about how good the snow cone looked and bugging Darren to trade. "

"So naturally he'd say no way and happily eat the snow cone." Issey was smiling at the image.

"Right you are, and Chuck would put on this long face while he got to eat the ice cream with no whining from the little one."

"Clever boy that Chuck." Issey observed.

"Don't feel too badly for your fella, he had his ways of getting over too. Any time Cerina would make her famous casserole Darren would come in having fallen out of a tree or off his skateboard. When Cerina would ask how he got hurt he'd sniffle and say Chuck did it because he was trying to play with him and his friends and Chuck didn't want him around. Now I'm not saying Chuck never gave him a shove, but Darren was far more likely to shove back than come running to mom. Unless it was casserole night."

"Those dishes took forever to scrub, by the time I'd be finished Boy Meets World would practically be over. Chuck didn't even like that show so he could do the dishes those nights."

"And you needed you Topenga fix?"

"Obviously."

The house was lovely and filled with visual reminders that this was a musical family. They found Cerina in the kitchen as expected. She wiped her hands on a dish towel and wrapped Darren in a motherly hug.

Introductions were made and she hugged Issey carefully. "Welcome home. You've had quite a year young lady."

"Best and worst of my life, but the good outweighs the bad by far so I'm thankful."

"How are you holding up after last night?"

Issey glanced to judge Darren's level of aggravation but he already had his nose in a pot of something that smelled like heaven.

"Pretty sore really. It was a dumb thing to do."

"We all have those moments of reflection when we realize we could have made better choices, it's part of life. Why don't you go up and lie down awhile, we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other when you're well rested."

Darren thumbed the back of her neck gently, "c'mon I'll bring the bags up and you can take a nap."

"I hate to just get here and disappear to sleep but I really could use a rest."

"You're taking care of my grand babies when you take care of you, no one will fault you for that." His mother assured her.

She took her time climbing the stairs, taking in all of the pictures of the family lining the wall. Pictures of the boys were everywhere.

Darren was smiling out at her in countless costumes and uniforms. She pointed at one, "it's practically your Dalton blazer."

He considered the image for a moment. "Yeah, I guess it is. Way more hair though."

She ruffled his curls, "and no gel!"

He led they way and opened the door to his old room. It was most definitely still the room of a teenaged boy. Trophies and pictures of friends were everywhere. The only thing that didn't seem frozen in time were the stunning pink peonies in a low vase by the bedside.

"How beautiful! Did you do this?"

"No, that was my parents. They asked me what you'd like."

"They're so sweet. I was really scared."

"Not me. I knew they'd love you." He lifted her suitcase onto the desk, "do you want a nightgown?"

"Too tired." She laid on the twin bed and let her lids close. Seconds later she felt a cool sheet cover her. "Hey! This is my sheet. Did you just unpack this?"

He was already at the door. "Of course."

Even when he was annoyed with her he took good care of her. "I love you." It was a statement but there was a question in there too.

He crossed the room back to her and pressed his lips softly to hers, "I love all three of you. I'll wake you later."


	12. Chapter 12

Issey tried to roll over and kicked the wall for the third time. She didn't know whether she was happy Darren's tiny twin bed was against the wall to stop her landing on the floor repeatedly or if the floor would be preferable to slamming her already torn up knee over and over. This time she decided she was done trying to sleep.

She took a few minutes to look around his room. It wasn't so different from his current room, a realization that made her a little afraid to look too closely at the photographs, not wanting any more unpleasant surprises.

After texting Chris to see how he was but getting no immediate answer she sighed, "Okay kids, we can't stall much longer, we gotta go downstairs." She patted her belly.

Cerina was in the living room alone. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"It's been a long time since I was in a twin bed but at this point all sleep is good sleep. Where are the guys?"

"Charles took Darren to get what he considers to be the essentials for your new home."

"Any idea what type of essentials?"

"Knowing Charles they're buying tools and frames."

"Interesting combination."Issey said on the sofa opposite Cerina's chair.

"Charles always says you need the right tools to keep a house standing and the right love to keep it together. He was asking Darren about molding and baseboards, poor boy had no idea what he was talking about and Charles looked at me and said 'Cerina hold dinner, the boy and I are going out.' " she'd mimicked her husbands deep voice. "That was an hour and 20 minutes ago but when Charles gets near a hardware store you just never know."

"I hope some of that rubs off on Darren. We're having a ton of work done on the house right now but I'm sure we'll have lots of little things that need doing."

"Can I ask you something?" Cerina's face was serious.

"Of course, anything."

"When Darren started experiencing this new popularity that comes with being on a hit television show I was glad he was with Mia because they were a solid couple and I wouldn't have to worry about the girls who would be in his life for the wrong reasons."

She smoothed her hands over her skirt and continued. "Darren would be so upset with me for saying these things to you but a mother protects her children even when they are grown. Someday you'll know. When I first got wind that you were in the picture I asked Darren to be careful."

"I hate to interrupt but can I ask how he responded to that?"

Cerina smiled, "That was what really threw me. Normally I'd get the pat answer, 'of course I'm being careful Mom' with an eye roll I can hear right through the phone. This time though he said, 'I can't, it's too late."

"I'm lost, too late? Was this when I was already pregnant?"

"I don't think so, this was quite early on. He meant he was already in love. He couldn't stop himself from falling. I called Chuck and asked him to check in on his brother. I was very afraid you were looking for his money or his celebrity. Clearly I know now that you don't need him for either of those things so my question to you is, would you be marrying my son if you weren't carrying his children?"

"I think we may have waited until I was feeling better after my surgery but absolutely I would still be marrying him."

"You've known each other such a short time, how can you be so sure?"

"My heart has known his forever. There's no choice here. How do you know you need to breath air? That's how I know I belong with your son."

"But there was a time very recently when you were not so sure."

"It appears that way I know but even when we weren't together Darren knew, I'd told him I needed time to help Chris, and to sort myself out but I never doubted for a millisecond that I belonged with Darren."

"Why him?"

"If you love Charles the way I love Darren you know that is a question that cannot be answered. I can list attributes for days but there are millions of other people with the same, no one has ever made me feel the way he does. The first time I saw him everything I had always believed about my life and the way I lived it changed and I knew I would give everything up for him."

Cerina nodded.

"Did you ask Darren these questions?"

"I did."

"And?"

"And he said,'what did you feel the first time you saw Dad?'. That was really all he needed to say. I saw Charles across a park, he hadn't even seen me, I told my friends I was going to marry that boy."

"You hadn't even met?"

"No. But I saw him and felt like there was suddenly this piece of me outside of myself that I hadn't even known was missing."

"YES!" Issey agreed emphatically. "Darren and I have talked about that feeling. I know Chuck had serious reservations about me. Darren says he likes me now that we've net but I bet last night changed all that. I do wish I had met you all before I, well before. I have worked in this industry for so long and have never-"

"I know. I'm not much on the Internet but Chuck sent us some articles he found about you before you met Darren. "

"I didn't think there was much in the way of articles out there."

Cerina shrugged, "Snippets from articles about people you'd worked with. Every one talked about your hardcore work ethic, your exacting nature, there was nothing scandalous, no mention of road romances. Charles found that very reassuring."

"And you?"

"I wish you two would slow down. Do I wish Darren were married before he became a father? Yes of course I do, but he wasn't and I don't want him to rush into something that isn't right."

"How can I convince you I'm right for him?" Issey had thought the conversation was going well but now she felt her stomach sink.

"Not a thing. You're lovely and have shown grace under a difficult situation, this isn't against you, I don't want you stuck in a bad situation either. I just wish you two would take more time now before regretting your choices later. "

"Do you wish you hadn't married me Cerina?" Darren and his father stood at the entry to the living room.

"Of course not Charles, what's this to do with us?"

"Leave them be, when its right there's no reason to waste time you could be spending together." He crossed the room and kissed her cheek, "I wished I'd married you when we were just babies so I could have spent our entire lives together." Issey beamed, they were an adorable couple.

Darren sat in the edge of Issey's chair, "Did you sleep well?"

"When I wasn't slamming my leg into the wall, I haven't been in a twin bed since my age was a single digit." She leaned into him.

"It'll be supper time soon, lets go upstairs and change your bandages before we eat."

The meal was a treat, something homemade was just what Issey needed. During dinner they got to talking about playing cards which lead to them playing bridge after dinner.

Issey had never played so Charles took her on as a partner while Darren and his mother teamed up for the first few rounds. Issey grasped the basics quickly but couldn't get in sync with her partner. Eventually Darren asked for her to be his partner and they became unstoppable.

At nearly 1 AM Cerina declared it bed time. On the way upstairs Charles blustered about beginners luck and rematches before hugging his son and future daughter in law goodnight.

Issey brushed her teeth slowly. She was still stiff and sore. When she returned to Darren's room he was sitting on his bed still in jeans and a t shirt. She felt certain he was still upset with her and going to go sleep in Chuck's room.

He ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Hey, um, so this is my room."

She nodded, confused, did he want her to sleep in another room?

He got up and walked to his old stereo. "I'm glad you could come over. Do you um, want to listen to some music or something?"

The light clicked in her dim brain and she caught on at last. "Yeah, music's good. What do you have?"

"I've got all kinda of stuff, how about some NSync?"

"For real? Wow, most guys don't have that stuff."

"Or they don't admit to it."

"So how come you do? Are you like, gay or something? Cause that would be cool if you were, I just would like to know."

He leaned in and kissed her, for all the world it felt like the first kiss of two awkward high school kids with raging hormones.

"Okay, so not gay then." She said as she caught her breath. He was good at this.

"I'm sorry about my parents, they just like to hang out with my friends." He had some how maneuvered her across the room so she was standing next to his bed. "Sit."

"Oh, they were really nice, I didn't mind. Are you allowed to have girls in your room?" She remained standing.

"Sure." He sat on the bed and patted the space next to him, "they trust me. Don't you?"

"I guess so. I'm not allowed to have boys in my room, not even with the door open. My parents are so paranoid. Lame."

"They're right to watch over you." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "You're so beautiful, guys must be lining up at your door."

"We put in a number system like at the deli." She couldn't resist the snark and really it wasn't breaking character because its exactly what she would have said if some guy had tried these moves on her in high school.

"I'm going to come by and take all of the numbers. I don't want anyone else getting near you." He leaned in to kiss her again, this time cupping her jaw gently in his hand. He hadn't done this since the first few times they'd kissed. Now his hands knew her body well and settled into favorite places when they kissed but high school Darren didn't have favorite spots to caress, there was no familiarity or surety of possession in his touch. It was asking, testing, feeling her out.

She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back a little, "You're a really good kisser." She didn't look happy about it.

"Is that a bad thing?" He took her hand in his and rubbed it softly.

"Kind of suggests I'm another in a long line of girls who have seen your room."

He thought about this for a minute. "I won't lie and say you're the first but," He kissed her just under her ear and whispered, "I can promise you'll be the last."

She gave him an 'oh sure I am' eyebrow lift but allowed him to kiss her down onto the pillow anyway.

He let his hands wander down her hips as if it were the first time but she giggled, "did you seriously have N'Sync CDs here?"

His smile made the sides of his eyes crinkle. "At one time I did, but no, not now."

"We're listening to it now."

"Downloaded it while I was out with Dad."

"Really?"

He kissed her neck. "You wanted the whole high school experience."

"Fair enough."

She let her fingertips caress his chest and down to his stomach, lightly, over his shirt. It was oddly hot to feel timid about touching him. He lay closer to her, his breathing getting heavier as he kissed across her shoulder.

She reached around him ignoring the pain in her arms and chest from the stretch but loving the way his back muscles flexed under her touch.

She tugged the edge of his shirt up and scratched lightly at the exposed skin enjoying the quiet moan that escaped him when she did. He sat up and pulled off his shirt then reached for her top. She grabbed his hand and he froze afraid her whole breast situation was about to slam them into the present.

"Wait." She said breathlessly casting a worried glance at the door. "Are you sure no one is going to come in?"

He laughed in relief, " Relax baby, my family believes in privacy. No one is going to find out." He removed her top and kissed across her breastbone.

"You promise you won't tell the guys at school?"

"I swear." He looked her in the eye,"You're safe with me, I really care about you."

They resumed kissing with Darren rilling over her and pressing her into the tiny mattress. "Ow! The button on your jeans is digging in to me."

"I can take them off if you like."

She touched his shoulder nervously. "I... I guess that would be alright,"

He shuttled them down his legs and kicked them away before lying next to her on his side. He twisted his lips a tiny bit and placed his hand in her hip. "Just say the word and we'll stop any time you aren't comfortable."

She nodded slightly and took the hand at her hip, threading her fingers through his and sliding their palms against each other. "I don't think I want to stop."

Darren placed his lips on hers, barely touching, and ran his bottom lip sideways against hers before capturing it into a light bite.

Being so lost in the fantasy it was almost a surprise when Issey felt the growing stiffness press against her thigh. By now they were always naked, feeling the cloth of his boxer briefs between them put her over the edge.

Neither was able to stay in the high school conceit long after she started grinding against him. It was one thing to play pretend with the build up but Darren had learned his lesson when he'd seduced her as Blaine, once things got past a certain point honesty in the moment was paramount to Issey's ability to enjoy herself.

She fell asleep in his arms and barely moved for hours. Feeling his forgiveness, knowing the tension of the accident had melted away was all she needed to truly be at rest.

Her phone had been set to vibrate but it still woke her when the text came in.

Chris: looong day at work. You ok? Darren pissed?

She set the phone back down, she'd answer this in the morning.

Darren shifted and rubbed his hand over his face, "Lemmee guess, Chris."

She nodded and curled back against him.

"Why does he think its okay to text you at," he lifted his head to check the digital clock on the nightstand, "4:46 am?"

"Just answering a text I sent him before supper, see if he was ok." She was drowsing already, her nose pressed into his neck.

"And he waited until now? You know he does this just to piss me off."

She grunted and laid back away from him not an easy task without hitting the floor. "He just finished work. They're busting their asses to finish this movie on time"

"Still could have answered you later."

They lay in silence for a short time but Issey broke it. "If I had been on my own bike, no Chris involved, would you have been this angry?"

"I don't know Is, you're having a tough time lifting your arms, it wouldn't have been the smartest move with or without him."

"If I had lost the twins you never would have forgiven me."

"I can't think about that."

"I don't know how you can help it. It's all I can think about. If I had been riding alone, on my own you would have been devastated, we both would but you would have forgiven me knowing I was as broken hearted as you, but if I had lost them riding with Chris you would never have forgiven me or Chris. You might try but I know in your heart you would hate me for it forever."

"I could never hate you." He said softly. "But let me ask you something, would you have dropped that bike if some girl hadn't answered my phone?"

"It wasn't just her answering; it was you not making any real attempt to talk to me, but no, I don't think I would have dropped the bike if we had been able to talk."

'The silence was deafening'. Issey had heard the expression but never understood it, never thought about it but now she felt like she knew. Her ears actually ached from the roar of the blood pounding in them. She broke it. "We have trust issues."

"Obviously."

"Maybe your mother is right. Maybe we need to wait."

He turned his back to her, facing the wall. "You don't want to marry me just say so, don't blame my mother."

She got out of the bed. "I take it that's your way of saying end of discussion"

He sat up, there were bags under his eyes, his hair was wild. "You think telling me we shouldn't get married is a discussion topic for nearly 5 AM?"

"Why do you always hear something other than what I say? I said we have trust issues, and you know what, we do, and for good reason. There's no shortage of blame to go around for that. I said maybe your mother's concerns about us rushing it are valid. I never said a single word about not marrying you.

"Okay, fine." He scratched his chest and ran his hands on his stubble. "You think postponing our wedding will resolve the trust issues you say we have. Tell me how that works, and for Christ's sake come back to bed."

She had been pacing the room but decided if he was willing to talk she should settle and get ready to dig in. Rather than climb back in next to him she sat at the end of the bed cross legged. "Are you saying you don't think we have trust issues?"

"I'm saying I don't, and I don't think your issue is trust either. Listen, I trust you. You don't lie to me, you may change your mind occasionally but you don't lie. I know you're still attracted to Chris but I don't believe you would act on anything because that would be the end of us and I believe that you want us to be together forever."

"What's MY issue then, since you don't think it's trust." She challenged.

"I've told you. You're not as well adjusted as you pretend to be about the loss of your breasts. You never talk about reconstruction, you bring up other women's figures when they're completely irrelevant. I don't think we need to wait to get married, if you really want to we can but I don't think it would solve anything. I do think you should discuss boundaries with Chris and I think you should talk to someone about your cancer."

"Oh good, we're back to the 'Issey needs therapy' discussion." She was exasperated.

He took her hands, "Try to hear what I'm saying and not be immediately defensive. I've been reading the forums on the breast cancer websites. I've been talking to people there and you know…"

"Wait. You're going online to talk to strangers about me?" She removed her hand from his and glared.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No. Not exactly. I went there at first to know what to expect, how to be supportive while I was away from you. This was before the surgery even. The people there were so helpful, their stories were so touching and filled with hope I kept going back. I can ask questions there that I'm afraid would upset you. I get support about the best way to try to make things better for you. I think it would be good for you to find a forum you like, talk to the people there, because they have a lot of wisdom we could both use."

Her eyes welled, "Am I doing such a terrible job adjusting to this that you can't ask me questions?"

"You're trying so hard, and you're doing great but I'm afraid sometimes you're trying too hard. Like maybe you should take some time with the scary things in your head and talk them through with people who have been there." He moved to sit next to her and pulled her against him, kissing her head. "I don't know everything you're going through, I can't, but there are people out there who can."

"What did you ask them that you didn't ask me?"

"I don't remember. Originally I just asked how long the pain lasted, how it felt coming out of surgery, about being pregnant and having the surgery, things like that. After a while I just became a part of the community. Everyone pitches in thoughts and conversations. One girl, Mandy is having chemo and she has to bring a box of Good and Plenty with her to eat while she has it to compete with the weird taste in her mouth. A bunch of other people said they had no weird taste and then some others said they would just take Lifesavers or something. It's all kinds of stuff.

"Just that?"

"What are you really asking? Did I ask sexual questions? Yes, I did. I asked whether it was painful to have the scars touched, whether some women wanted to be touched there, if there was still a sense of sexual satisfaction or longing to have that area paid attention to or if it was just better left alone."

"I'm glad you talked to them. I think I would have been really self-conscious if you'd asked me that right away. What did they say?"

He lay them down and told her stories of his new circle of friends and how they made it through the trying times until she was again softly snoring beside him.


	13. Chapter 13

Staying with Darren's parents turned out to be a fantastic idea. Mama Criss pampered her and made sure she was well fed and rested. Papa Criss taught her a few truly scrumptious recipes to try in her new kitchen AND took them shopping for all the right tools for making the meals they would love.

San Francisco was a design paradise where they easily found window treatments and bedding for every room that still needed it. Issey found chairs and foot rests she had to have.

At night they played cards or watched home movies of the boys when they were little. Issey felt so accepted and at home she didn't want to leave.

The afternoon of the show Issey went into town with Darren when he set out for rehearsal. Dianna was also in the city and the two had plans to meet for lunch and some shopping. Issey lamented her growing belly and said she needed new clothes that fit. This way she figured she could get Dianna's great style advice without telling her they were really searching for a wedding dress.

"That's perfect on you, you look like a painting." Dianna gushed.

It was about the 50th dress Issey had gone through. She had bought plenty of other clothes as well, she would need them soon enough after all.

She looked at her reflection. The dress was an antique off white with netting on top in a tank design so it looked strapless at first glance. It had been embroidered with turquoise starfish and shells and was the perfect marriage of beach party casual and old world elegance. She knew she had found the dress in which she would say, "I do."

It was so tempting to tell Dianna why she wanted it but she held back. "It is nice isn't it?"

"Nice? It looks made for you. You should totally wear it to your house warming party, if my memory of the pictures you sent is correct this dress should be a wall hanging there."

"Funny I was thinking of it for exactly that day. It's not too spot on for a beach house?"

"You'll be the bell of the ball. I bet we can find just the right earrings and shoes too. Now what do you think of my wearing this?"

She held up a sunshine yellow eyelet dress with a matching floppy sunhat.

Issey made her try it on and agreed it was just the thing.

When they were exhausted from shopping they went to check on Darren's rehearsal. He was in his happy place, his light grey t shirt was dark with sweat, his black curls slightly unbent and plastered to his head. They were working on the drum transfer in Stutter where Darren leaves his guitar and (ostensibly) seamlessly takes over from Theo. She met Theo only hours ago but has heard about him plenty in recent days. Darren had been beside himself with joy that his friend was flying in from New York to play this set with him. The two were ridiculously in tune with each other in every way. The girls watched as Darren hopped into the kit like someone trading places at jump rope. He was grinning, orange guitar pick between his teeth.

"My fiancé is so dreamy." Dianna teased.

Issey realized she'd lost the thread of the conversation completely. "Sorry. But y'know, he really is."

Dianna watched him rip through a drum solo with gusto. "Yeah, he's kinda great. I'm really glad you guys worked things out. That whole Chris thing was weird."

"For us too but these things happen."

"To me he'll always be the slightly pudgy boy with the choir boy hair cut I met on the first day. This new sexified Chris scares me."

Issey chuckled. "Scares me too."

"Do you think he'll start dating girls now?"

"Probably not. I think I was an experiment." Issey answered without taking her eyes off Darren who was talking around the pick in his mouth, making her very nervous.

"More than that, things got kind of intense for a while."

Still Issey kept her eyes on Darren who had moved to the piano. Most of the guys had drifted off, the rehearsal winding down. Only Theo remained, moving cables and checking connections. "I know, I'm sorry it affected you guys-"She had meant to go on but Darren began playing around with "I Left My Heart In San Francisco" and pulled all of her focus.

Dianna tossed her hair and laughed. "Good grief you're in love. You can't even finish a thought."

"I love when he does this, starts a song and then completely reconstructs it on the fly. You're right; I'm stupid in love with him. I could spend hours just looking at the curve of his neck, write poems about the way his muscles move in his forearms when he plays music, all of it. I honestly can't get enough of him."

"He's such a positive person too, I love that about him, he doesn't let stuff eat him up."

"That's what he shows the world but he can have a pretty short fuse sometimes."

"Like when you crash a motorcycle after a night of partying with the guy you left him for?" Dianna raised her eyebrows at her. She'd had a drink or two while they sat there and it was lubricating her tongue.

"He was so pissed off. I was, am, really sorry I did that to him but in all honesty watching him get angry was really sexy."

"I'm not sure I can picture Darren really angry." Dianna's nose wrinkled as she considered it. "He must have been just play mad if you found it sexy."

"No, not play mad, oh, did you hear what he just did there? He's so good at this, um, what was I, oh, right, he was super mad. Like barely speaking mad."

"And you found this hot? If that were me and Chord I'd be so afraid that I was going to lose him over it."

Issey finally turned her full attention to her friend, "I'm not saying I like seeing him upset, and I'm really sorry that I did what I did, but watching the slow burn, I don't know, it's like, he's always so eager puppy, it was nice to see him completely collect himself. He was so contained, controlled…"

"And now I get the whole Chris thing."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning Chris is all control. He's completely internal, a challenge to break into so when Darren took on that same vibe you were excited." She leaned forward, warming to her theory.

Issey reflected on the day Chris put the chain around her neck, tie in the front, cuffs in the back and smiled, Dianna was closer than she knew.

"You're probably on the money there. After all I'm used to being in control at all times so having someone else take the reins once in awhile is a relief."

"Sharing the burden of decision making must be nice. I'd love to find someone that I can trust with that." For once the bright smile faded from her beautiful face.

"I thought you and Chord were doing well."

"Past tense. I don't know, he's a sweet enough boy but there's still a lot of boy left in him if you know what I mean. I'm ready to get a little more serious."

Darren had finished and was generally horsing around with his friends downstairs. Issey cast a glance in his direction and turned back to Dianna, "I think they always stay boys but as long as they man up when they need to that's the best we can hope for."

Darren noticed the bags filling the back of the car they'd borrowed from his mom. "You managed to find some clothes I see." He smiled as he climbed into the drivers seat. Does this mean I get a fashion show later?"

"Maybe, a partial one."

"Does that mean you found the dress?" He was genuinely excited.

"I did, first day of looking. I think it's perfect."

"Guess I'd better get on the ball with that huh?"

"It'll be harder for you I think. It's not that bad to find a dress that's summer pretty without being too dressy but guys are either super dressy or beach bum."

He leaned over to kiss her before starting the car. "Don't worry, I won't let you down. Can I ask what color it is so I can at least not clash?"

"Off white and the same blue green as our kitchen."

"Interesting choice. Hoping to be able to disappear into the decor if you change your mind?"

"You're not getting off the hook that easily pal."

"Good. I plan to stay on that hook for a lifetime."

While Darren was in the shower Issey called Cerina into his parents bedroom to show her the dress. Cerina agreed it was lovely, she grew less concerned about the rushing of the wedding with each day she spent around the couple.

"You can't crush that into a suitcase, besides Darren's likely to find it if you keep it with you. Let me keep it here and I'll bring it with me when I come to the wedding."

Issey hugged her, the process of movement becoming easier each day. "Would you? I couldn't figure out how I was going to keep it from him."

"Of course! Hold on now, I think I have just the thing to go with it." Cerina dug through her mahogany jewelry box and retrieved a delicate gold bracelet with small coral stones. She placed it on Issey's wrist. "Of course if it isn't your style you don't have to, please don't feel you need to appease me. I it's thought-"

"It's absolutely perfect. I looked for something just like this today but couldn't find a thing. I promise you'll get it back after the wedding. We're not much for tradition but this can be my something borrowed."

Cerina sat on the bed and motioned for Issey to join her. She took the bracelet from her wrist to send with the dress. "Not borrowed, it's your something old. My great grandmother had nothing of value, she worked for a wealthy family and on her wedding day the lady of the house pulled her aside and gave her this to wear. She told her that it had been passed down in her family daughter to daughter but her daughters had become spoiled and unappreciative so she was going to give it to my great grandmother who had shown her more care and been a better companion than her own children."

"The money she could have made from selling this bracelet would have meant financial security for her family for a long time but she respected the tradition and it has been passed down in our family since. I am the first to not have a daughter but on your wedding day you will become my daughter and happily, the bracelet will be yours."

Issey was sniffling, her eyes red. I don't know if Darren told you, we aren't really sharing this yet because it isn't official but I believe your granddaughter just heard the story of her bracelet for the first time." She patted her belly.

"A girl? Oh I'm so glad. I love my boys but it will be so nice to have a granddaughter to spoil. Is it one granddaughter or two?"

"One. In fact we know for certain we have one boy, they believe the other is a girl but I won't know for sure until my doctor appointment later this week."

"We'll be thrilled whatever they are but try to think girl for me, I'd love to buy little dresses and cute shoes."

An hour before the show they were surprised to find Chuck had flown in to see his little brother's show. Issey wasn't sure Darren could get any happier. He and Chuck had their own language shorthand, talking fast and in almost half words. While Darren had seemed to be visiting home before Chuck's arrival somehow changed him to being AT home.

Given the backlash toward Issey online she chose to watch the show with his parents from a family box up and away from the crowd.

She didn't think she'd ever be immune to his magic when he stepped on stage not as Blaine but as Darren. It occurred to Issey that until she met Darren she had never, even as a young teen, seen a concert she didn't edit and fix in her mind. She could always see the holes, the mistakes in lighting, the better choreography, a more appropriate set design, missed opportunities to give songs the impact they lacked and most glaringly, the vocal weaknesses and errors made by those running the audio board.

Friends in high school wouldn't invite her to concerts knowing when they were driving home on a post live show high Is would bring everyone down by pointing out things they neither noticed not cared about.

Broadway shows when she was in college fell to the same fate. Her contemporaries would leave the theater humming the tunes and wishing it was them on the great white way but Issey would be thinking (she'd learned not to vocalize it) how the female lead had a weak middle voice and the blocking in the second act was sloppy and distracting.

As much as she loved music and shows she could not remember ever seeing a show she just sat back and enjoyed without her mind throwing red flags from every direction.

Enter Darren. Issey realized as she watched him discuss the heat and how much he was likely to sweat with the faces shining up at him that this is something she could not teach, this ability to make each person in the room feel as if they were welcome in us living room, like they were friends hanging out and having a beer together and oh, hey let me play this song for you and tell me what you think of it.

Every song had impact not because the filter colors on the key light was well chosen or the orchestration was perfectly on point but because Darren himself was honest in his performance.

If anyone else in the world could understand the way her mind worked she would be able to point to him on stage telling a story about making a fool of himself in front of some girl when he lived in Italy and say, "There. That is why I love him." But no one would ever understand because they hadn't seen the world as a laundry list of issues she needed to correct until finally finding a raw emotional honesty she could connect to, let go and just let wash over her.

He invited Chuck on stage and both parents hooted and called out support for their eldest son. Darren quipped a quick thanks to his parents for their cheers for Chuck before the brothers sat on side by side stools and played a song dedicated to their father.

Cerina took Issey's hand and squeezed. The brothers together were really something to see and hear. Darren looked to Chuck frequently with a wide grin, so excited to have his big bro by his side. Chuck was more serious in his approach but still the boys would rear their heads back in unison, or dip their china at the exact same moment.

Issey wondered if her twins would be as in sync with each other as their father and uncle. She also couldn't help but visualize the brothers sitting on the deck of their home many years from now, playing tunes on their guitars and chatting amiably about the wild old days. She couldn't keep the smile from her face.

As the show drew to a close she texted Darren letting him know she was feeling a little over tired and nauseous and would be heading home with his parents but he was brilliant and should stay out and celebrate his triumphant return home with his brother and friends.

She was in the backseat feeling a little like a child when he answered her

D: you ok? I'll come home.

She responded letting him know it was just a long day and she'd feel horribly guilty if he missed out on a night out he deserved just to see her fall asleep.

He finally caved and agreed he'd go have a good time and would get a cab home with Chuck later.

It was after four when he tried and failed to slip quietly into his old bedroom. He knocked over a stack of notebooks with lyrics scribbled in them from the time he was 12 on.

"Shhh!" He drunkenly admonished the books then giggled at himself. He removed his shirt with moderate difficulty getting the buttons caught briefly on his nose before clawing his way out. It was the final tug on his jeans though that sent him reeling around the room trying to maintain his balance.

Issey had been feigning sleep until then but couldn't help but laugh loudly at his arms windmilling desperately in the air.

He steadied himself against a dresser and turned to her,

"Faker."

"Drunky." She retorted.

"I'm gonna show you what happens to fakers." He said, trying to be sexy but it was more humorous than sexy when his lunge for the bed resulted in a sideways stumble to the wrong side of the room.

"You gotta catch me first. Wake me if you ever find the bed." She gave an exaggerated stretch and yawn and mostly shut her eyes.

"It's not fair, stop spinning!" He shouted.

A quick knock at the door preceded a loud whisper from Chuck, "Bro take it down to 11, it's the middle of the night."

Darren whispered back but his whisper was more of a growl, clearly he'd lost all control over his volume, "Groovy, you got it man. Fuck. Hey Chuck?"

Chuck pushed the door open a fraction, "Shhh. Yeah?"

"I love you bro." Darren lurched forward to hug him but missed.

"Okay , let's get you into bed before you hurt yourself."

Darren immediately collapsed onto Chuck and allowed himself to be half carried to the bed.

Issey sat up to help him lay Darren down and thanked Chuck for the assist.

When they were alone Darren started sloppily kissing Issey's neck. "Did you like the show tonight Babe?"

She started to tell him she did, she'd been waiting for him to come home and let her cash in on the perks of being the one sleeping with the hot dude on stage but before she could get the words out he was snoring disconcertingly with his face smashed against her collarbone.


	14. Chapter 14

The scent of coffee teased Issey's senses awake before her alarm had a chance.

She was big spoon to Darren's little, her lips only a whisper from his back. She scratched her fingernails lovingly through the hair on his pooch of a belly And kissed his shoulder.

"Mrph."

She shook her head in fond bemusement. It was early yet and she'd done most of their packing after the show the night before. He could sleep a little longer but she was heading down to investigate the beaconing smell of breakfast that was quickly overpowering the coffee. Her stomach rumbled and she extricated herself from the sheets.

Charles was cooking eggs Benedict and French toast. He and Chuck were the only two in the kitchen .

"Room for one more?" She asked , feeling like she might be intruding on a father & son moment.

"Pull up a seat." Charles told her. He was cooking and Chuck was on a stool at the bar watching and waiting for his plate to be handed over.

She climbed up next to her brother in law to be.

"French Toast and scrambled eggs?" Charles asked.

"The Benedict looks scrumptious actually."

"Not for you, my grand babies need their Mom to eat her eggs cooked through for awhile."

Laughing she agreed and let him know he was taking over his sons title as food police.

"Thanks for getting Darren into bed last night."

"Not the first time. I'm guessing he passed right out." Chuck spoke around a mouth full of food.

Charles handed her a cup of coffee assuring her it was decaf, "Half Irish and still fairly useless at holding his liquor."

"You guys flying out today?" Chuck wanted to know.

"Yeah, I have doctor appointments in Boston tomorrow so we need to get back. Plus I need to pack up my place."

"He's going to be a hurting puppy on that plane. I've got a few days before I need to be back if you guys need any help."

Her knee jerk reaction was to refuse but she gave it a little thought. There would be some heavy lifting she couldn't help with and hiring a moving company to pack her things seemed like inviting g strangers to post a laundry list of her belongings onto the 'net.

"If you really wouldn't mind we really could use another pair of hands."

He bumped his shoulder with his, "I'd be happy to, it'll give me a chance to get to know my new little sister."

"And make sure she's not goi g to make any more stupid moves like taking off on a bike with her ex?"

He shrugged, "Thats between you and my brother. I've learned a little something about relationships looking different from the outside than the inside. "

When Issey was finished eating she took a large glass of water and two aspirin upstairs. Darren was lying on his stomach snoring.

"Okay party boy it's time to wake up." She touched his shoulder but he didn't stir. She dipped her fingers in the water glass and let the drops fall on the side of his face. Still nothing.

"You're going to make me pull out the big guns huh?"

She pulled the sheet away and sunk her teeth firmly into the swell of his ass.

"OW! What the fuck?" He jumped up and then quickly settled back down his head throbbing.

"You weren't waking up and your butt was taunting me." Issey gave it a little squeeze. "You missed breakfast."

"Gross."

She made him sit up, take the aspirin, drink the water. "You're going to end up puking on the plane."

"Shhh don't say puke."

"You should get in the shower, you'll feel better."

"You should come back to bed, then I'd feel better." Darren attempted to lure her.

"Your breath is not doing it for me right now lover boy."

"Fine." He grunted with overly pronounced mock annoyance. "Stay."

Issey sat on the bed and sorted through the masses of emails on her phone. There were at least 20 from Ryan with thoughts and notes for the new season, a dozen or so requests from potential clients, a few things from her agent.

The work stuff was easy to get through. Then she had a few from friends she hadn't seen in forever, mostly old clients she didn't see much of anymore. They all wanted to know if she was alright after the accident, if it was true she was finally moving to LA but mostly they all wanted the gossip. In LA good gossip was better currency than cash.

Before she had time to decide which email to answer and which to simply delete Darren was back. The door was barely closed behind him when he dropped his robe.

A throaty noise escaped without her permission. Seeing him completely naked in broad daylight was something she didn't think she'd ever get used to. He was darkly tanned from the summer sun, and when he bent to grab clothes from a drawer his legs were pure muscle.

"I'll take that kiss now."

"Just let me get dressed real quick."

"I'd rather you didn't."

He climbed into the bed, "If you're looking for more than a kiss you're out of luck my stomach is mad at me and my head feels like its going to explode."

"Poor baby." She kissed his shoulder and played her fingers along his thigh.

"I'm serious, I'm about 5 minutes from puking here."

She sat back, "Mood officially killed."

He kissed her anyway, "Sorry babe."

"It's a little residual lust from watching you on stage last night." She massages his scalp and he leaned into the feeling.

"So you enjoyed the show?"

"Of course. You were fantastic."

"That means a lot coming from you." His eyes were closed, relaxing into her touch.

"I can't tell was that sarcasm?"

"Why would that be sarcasm?"

"Clearly I'd love the show, I love you."

"You're also the best critic I know. If something sucked I know I could count on you for corrections."

"The only thing that sucked was not being able to tear your clothes off after and have my way with you."

"Are you upset I didn't come home with you?"

"No, all of your friends were there, I wanted you to go have fun. I just wish I could have gone with you."

"Me too. I shouldn't have gone though, my place is with you."

"Don't start that. When people start thinking that way it kills relationships."

"What? Thinking they should support each other?"

"Thinking of the other person as an obligation. I'm glad you had a fantastic night. It would be different if I had been miserable and sick and asked you to come home and you wanted to stay but I was just tired, you did your thing I did mine, that's healthy."

"You're very smart."

"I must be, I picked you."

Leaving was difficult. Issey had so enjoyed her time with her future in laws she knew she'd miss them.

They would see each other at the wedding in just a few weeks though and Cerina had promised Issey that if she needed help later in her pregnancy or after the twins were born she would be on the next flight.

Darren slept a good portion of the plane ride. When he woke he found Issey on her laptop. Stealing a peek at what she was doing before she realized he was awake he smiled to himself. She was reading the breast cancer support boards he had told her about and had clearly created a profile because she was typing, joining the conversation. Afraid she might shut it down if he caught her he owed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

When the flight attendant came by with drinks he couldn't keep up the ruse he opened his eyes and asked for two bottles of water. Issey grabbed a Ginger Ale and when the attendant had moves on she watched Darren drain the first bottle.

"Faker."

"You knew?"

"Duh. But why?"

"Wanted you to have some time to read those boards. Are they helping?"

"Kinda. It's good to hear how things went for other people, how they got through things. The tips are good."

"I was hoping they'd help you see how the guys who come on there aren't freaked out or less attracted to the women in their lives."

"I've seen those posts, I even suspect I've found a few from you but our situation is different."

"Some of them are pregnant too, you just have to find the right threads."

"Not what I mean. Their partners aren't famous, they don't have hoards of beautiful women waiting in the wings to do anything and everything to remind them what it's like with a whole woman."

"I reject that statement on so many levels. I'll bet most guys have women they work with or know socially who are attracted to them and make themselves available. That may even be worse because he has a connection with her, feels like he can talk things out with her that would hurt his wife then one thing leads to another and... You just never know. Mostly though I reject the idea that you and the rear of these women aren't whole. If a heavy woman loses weight is she less of a woman? It's fatty tissue that was there and now it isn't. That has nothing to do with being a whole person."

She ruffled his hair and smiled at him sadly. "Nice analogy but we both know it isn't the same. "

"I guess the only way to convince you is time."

She closed the computer and took his hand. "It isn't like I'm constantly afraid you're going to leave me, or that I'm depressed all of the time, I know you love me, I know I'm more than my boobs, I just occasionally get sad and worried. I have to believe that's a pretty normal reaction."

"I'm sure it is, I just feel like its my job to let you know how incredible you are and how much more it means to me that you be healthy than anything else."

"You do, you're good at it, better the good but you can't always fix my feelings."

He lifted her hand and kissed it. "I guess I have to find the line between respecting your right to feel down and wanting to pick you up."

"It's a tough thing to find when it's always moving but I think we've got a strong chance."

They were well rested from the flight so once in Boston they began sorting things in the apartment. With the time difference and flight time it was already after 9 so moving big stuff around was out in deference to her neighbors but they sat on the floor and pulled out stacks of DVDs making a pile for donating and a pile for sending home.

Darren had every Disney movie ever released so those went to donations. She held fast to her Harry Potter series even though Darren had those too.

In the end she didn't keep much, the idea being most everything was readily available online anyway.

Her cd's were another story. She had a hard time parting with music and at first Darren agreed but it was a lot to move.

"I'll rip them all to your laptop. It'll be easier than moving them all"

"You're cracked first of all that will suck up way too much memory and second it will take forever. Pack them."

He relented and grabbed a box from the ones they'd ordered and sent ahead.

She opened a cabinet against the wall and pulled out a stack of old records. "These will have to be bubble wrapped or something I'm afraid they'll crack."

Darren crawled closer to where she sat in the floor and excitedly began flipping through them. "These are so groovy, where did they come from?"

"My dad, he and I used to wait until Ma would take Soph to dance class then we'd put these records on and sing together. I learned to love music on those days."

He found a Shirley Bassey album and browsed the song titles. "Hey! I love this song! It's too bad you don't have a player."

She did, the top of the cabinet opened to reveal an old record player. Darren stood holding the record delicately in his finger tips and fit it down the center spindle. It took him a few tries to set the needle in just the right groove but soon Shirley was asking "What are you doing the rest of your life?"

He held out his hand to Issey and she stood and let him pull her into his arms for a dance. They swayed together her hands twisted in his shirt, holding onto him hard. She could feel him smiling with his cheek on the top of her head which was tucked against his chest.

"I loved spending time with my family but being alone with you is my favorite thing."

She inhaled deeply and he expected a comment but instead she burrowed further into him and exhaled slowly.

"You ok?"

"Mmmm. Just enjoying this, Pretty soon will be so busy we won't have any time together."

"We'll be working together and living together how much more time is there?"

"I'll be working in the studio, you'll be on set and from what you've all told me you work 20 hour days. Then before we hit winter break you'll be in New York forHow to Succeed. By the time that's done the twins will be here."

"You'll be in New York with me and the show is only a few hours a night, we'll have lots of down time together."

"You know that isn't true. There will be rehearsals and press and stage door, parties and meet and greets and you'll be too wired after to come home and sleep. I can barely keep up now, I don't think at 9 months pregnant I'll be up for the Broadway lifestyle. I think it might be best if I stay home in Malibu."

He dropped his arms from around her, looking defeated."We talked about this, you said I had to do it."

"You do. I'm not upset about it really, just appreciating the calm before the storm."

His face was still dark. "I'm not going to be on the other side of the country from my wife when she's about to give birth."

"I don't want to argue about this. You're doing the show, I'll come with you if I feel up to it. I just don't have many people I'm close to there I'd have more support at home."

He wanted to say he'd be there and that's all she should need but knew that was selfish and untrue. Instead he held his arms open and she took her place against him once again. This time kissing his neck, "Have I told you lately how devastatingly sexy you are?"

"I don't remember, tell me again." He teased.

She did. In detail Issey told him all of things about his body that turned her to jelly, tracing her fingers and lips wherever she easily could.

When he could no longer hold back he scooped her up and brought her to bed. She wiggled close to him and snorted a little laugh. "Who would have thought I'd miss your tiny bed?"

He slid his calf against hers sending shivers down her spine and finally reminded her of how many ways she was lucky to be in bed with a "rock star".

At the obstetrician it was all good news. They did have both a boy and a girl, both were developing normally. Isseys heart rate and blood pressure were elevated a touch above normal so they took some blood for further testing but overall it was a very positive visit.

Darren wanted lunch before the oncologist but Issey barely touched her food. It was obvious she was nervous about the appointment but Darren couldn't imagine why. The worst was behind them and she'd been feeling so much better .

The doctor checked her scars, asked some questions and took some blood and they were out in a half hour. Issey seemed more than a little relieved to be out if the office but when Darren tried to ask questions she brushed them off.

They picked Chuck up at the airport later that afternoon and Issey napped while they loaded the larger things she'd be donating to charity (her kitchen set, living room chairs, table and sofa, and a few other things) into a rental truck. She hadn't been getting tired as quickly but the worry about the appointments had drained her.

While the guys were out her cell woke her. The nurse at her OB/GYN was calling to ask her to come back in later that afternoon. She of course agreed then called Darren, crying.

"They didn't say why but it can't be good news can it?"

He did his best to calm her down while fighting is own rising panic.

Because they were an add on appointment they had a longer wait at the office than usual, anxiety bumped every minute to an eternity. Even Darren, usually a chatter box sat uncomfortably in his cheerfully patterned chair, silently holding Issey's hand.

"I called you back because your blood glucose levels are highly elevated. Gestational diabetes is common in women carrying twins, it's important to deal with but not a cause for alarm. I'm going to set you up with a nutritionist and we'll see how you do with a modified diet and some exercise. I'm going to teach you how to check your levels at home and have you check in with me in a week."

"She does yoga every day, does she need more exercise than that?"

"Probably not. Don't increase your activity until we do a week or two of home testing. I'll have you test your levels three times a day bedtime, 3am, and when you wake up."

Darren ran his hands through his hair and asked "And if the diet and exercise route aren't successful, are we talking insulin shots?"

"Not necessarily we'd begin with oral remedies. There are portions of pregnancy where we prefer not to use insulin and portions where it is indicated but I'd like to keep it as a last resort. If we have to use it we will, and there's no real reason to avoid it, I just feel there are better options right now."

After being shown how to test her sugar, and how to palpate her abdomen for signs of stress from exercise Issey finally had a question of her own.

"We're living in California now, as you know, and you've been kind enough to refer me to some doctors there but there is a strong possibility we'll be spending the last weeks of my pregnancy in New York."

The doctors brow creased to a frown. "To be honest Isabel I think that's not the best situation for you. If its unavoidable we can work with it but truthfully I anticipate you'll be on bed rest by then and with the complications of your cancer I'd feel better if you had the babies with a doctor who knew your history well."


End file.
